Pregnantshy
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: I am really not good at sequels...
1. Chapter 1

Lost in each other's eyes...That was the perfect way to describe how Discord and Fluttershy were by the lake that night. They had been dating for a few months, and she didn't think that dating an immortal being thousands of years older than her was creepy at all.

Fluttershy had these beautiful teal green eyes that Discord just couldn't get enough of. Every time he found himself caught in their powerful gaze, he couldn't help but just look back, sometimes even looking for hours.

Discord's reddish eyes were definitely a sight to see. Nopony Fluttershy knew captured the essence of those powerful orbs. They represented almost a sunset after a long summer's day.

Pinkie, meanwhile, was loudly splashing in the wake, even doing her famous fountain trick, where she would lay on her back and spit water out of her mouth. The couple were too busy getting lost in each other's stares that they didn't pay any attention to her.

"Hey, guys! Look what I can do!"

The pink Earth pony dived underwater, then jumped back up and, much like a dolphin, flipped in the air, then nosedived back in.

"Fluttershy! Did you see me?! Fluttershy! Hey! Hey, Fluttershy! Over here!...FLUTTERSHY!"

Pinkie's loud yell snapped them back to their senses.

"Um...yes, Pinkie?"

"Hold on, I'm gonna do it again."

By the time she had went under to repeat the trick, she had already been caught in her boyfriend's eyes and couldn't escape.

Pinkie let out a groan of frustration. She just couldn't seem to get her friend's attention.

"Hey, Fluttershy! Hey! Look what I got!"

Even Pinkie holding up a priceless gem from the bottom of the lake didn't get their attention.

"Aww. Well, I guess I could give it to Rarity...or Spike..."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the lovebirds on the shore leaning in towards each other.

"Oh, my gosh, they're gonna do it! They're gonna do it!"

She wrapped her forelegs around her lover and gave him a big hug, which he returned.

"Oh, just another hug."

A sparkle from the bottom of the lake focused her attention back to snorkeling, dropping the gem back into the water.

"Ooh! What's that?!"

She dived down deep into the water. They noticed their chance and gave each other a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Love you," said Fluttershy, blushing.

"Love you, too," Discord added.

Meanwhile, underwater, Pinkie noticed the gleam of light and picked up the source of it: a soda bottle.

"Wonder where this came from," she gurgled as she dropped it back to its final resting place.

She began to paddle upwards and gasped for breath.

"Hey, why don't you guys come in? The water's fantastic!"

"We're good right here. I don't want to get my wings wet," Fluttershy said.

"Uh...me neither."

"Ooh! You wanna know what I do when I get wet?!"

"Not particularly," said Discord.

"I just go like this, and all that water's gone!"

She shook herself dry, similar to the way dogs do, and got Discord and Fluttershy wet in the process.

"See? No water!" she pointed out as her poofy, cotton candy mane returned.

"It's getting kind of chilly out here," Fluttershy shivered.

"Not to me!" Pinkie said as she engulfed another cupcake.

"Eh...2 and a Half Colts is about to come on. It's my favorite show. I mean, two males raising one foal? So chaotic and funny!"

"Okie dokie lokie! See you lovebirds tomorrow!" Pinkie giggled as she trotted into the forest and back to Sugarcube Corner.

They didn't particularly like it when Pinkie called them lovers, but they didn't care as they found themselves caught in the ever-so-mysterious gaze of their illuminescent orbs.

Later that night, Fluttershy and Discord were snuggling together in their bed. The warmth of his breath was a constant comforting factor for the yellow Pegasus, and Discord liked the feel of her long, pink mane.

As he stroked that perfect mane that he liked so much, he was trying his best to come up with the right way to ask Fluttershy what he's always wanted to, but never have the guts to actually go through with it.

"Um...how long have we been dating again? Just curious?"

"About...six months?"

"Okay, so now's the perfect time...Fluttershy?"

"Yes, Discord?"

"Uh...this is going to sound really awkward, but...uh...can I give you a bellyrub?"

She just kind of stared at him for a moment.

"It's just that...we've been dating for a while now, and you're so soft, and-"

"Okay."

"...Really?"

"If you really want to, I mean, I don't have any problem with it."

"Awesome! I have always wanted to do this!"

She smiled warmly as she laid on her back, her belly in full view of Discord.

"So, just tell me where or...?"

"Um...go a little low, but not by much."

He started on the center of her belly, just a little bit below her ribcage.

"Lower...lower...lower...lower-above the waist, please...Ohh, right there. Right there is nice."

The perfect spot. Target has been reached.

Small moans of ecstasy could be heard from the delicate Pegasus as Discord rubbed that perfect spot on her belly. He looked down as he was rubbing and even noticed that one of her hind legs was shaking a little from the pleasure.

He leaned in a little bit closer so that she could feel his warm breath on her face.

"No, we...we shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"...Angel's right there."

She pointed to the sleeping white ball of fur right next to the bed.

"He won't mind. He's just a bunny."

"No...Angel's different..."

"Look, how about we do it really quiet so Angel won't be disturbed?"

"Well...I guess that would work...Okay, we'll do it. Very quietly."

He leaned in to kiss her, but Fluttershy stopped him.

"Seriously, Angel is a very light sleeper. We don't even want to make the bed squeak."

"Gotcha."

They were about to perform the natural act when her constant worries interrupted.

"I wouldn't want the memory of us doing...this...scar Angel for the rest of his life. He's very delicate, and-"

**WILL YOU JUST KISS ALREADY?!**

On command, Discord locked his lips with his marefriend, and they enjoyed the taste of each other. Something happened during that magical moment of their lives that made them hunger for even more, beyond the sacred act, something of an even higher and more intimate level.

This roused Angel from his slumber, and he did not get a very good wake-up call. From his spot, he saw his owner and his former tormentor do things that he didn't even know existed.

Perverted, awful things.

He quickly scampered out of the room and shut the door behind him, still processing what exactly went on. Whatever it was traumatized him to the core, and he could not go back to sleep.


	2. Guy Friends

Discord enjoyed his breakfast of cereal and milk as he watched Princess Celestia raise the Sun. These past few months, he's learned to enjoy things such as the sunrise, as Princess Celestia was no longer his immortal enemy. He watched as the sky turned a pinkish color, and the bright orange ball of gas was lifted into the air to start the day.

Fluttershy crept up behind him, ever so quietly, and covered his eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Uh...is she yellow?"

"Yes."

"Is she a Pegasus?"

"Yes."

"Is she the most beautiful pony in the world?"

"Hehe, well, I don't know about that."

"Well, then, I'm not sure..."

"Okay, okay, yes...to you, at least."

"Is it Fluttershy?"

"Yes."

They embraced each other, accompanied by a passionate smooch.

"Morning, honey," greeted Discord warmly.

"Have a good sleep, honeysuckle?"

"Well, on the contrary, none of us really did much sleeping."

"True, true."

The draconequs sipped some more of the milk from his cereal bowl.

"Well...I'm meeting the girls today at Rarity's boutique."

"Okay. Have fun."

"I'm not asking for much, just make sure the house doesn't burn down. Okay?"

"Fluttershy, I can assure you that nothing will happen to this house or your animals."

As he bowed, Fluttershy gently kissed him on the forehead, being careful to avoid his antlers.

"Hey...you're always out with your friends...Why can't I have friends?"

"What do you mean, my love?"

"I mean that I need to get some guy friends, just like you have your girl ones."

"That's fine with me, Discord. I know you're kind of lonely, and you can never have enough friends."

"The problem is, where can I find the predominant males in Equestria, seek them out, and somehow get them to be acquaintances with me?"

"Hmm...I know somepony you can be friends with."

"Really? Who?"

"I'll give you a hint: His initials are B.M."

"Hehehe. B.M. Is it...uh...British Motors?"

"It's Big Macintosh, silly."

"Oh, yes, Macintosh. He's big and strong. He could be my tough guy friend."

"I'm glad we did what we did last night, sugarplum."

"Last night? Ohh, last night was the best! I am honored to have you as my first, Fluttershy."

"Likewise, honeysuckle."

On her way out the door, Fluttershy noticed Angel shivering on the couch and sipping some coffee.

"Angel?...Oh, Angel Bunny, you look terrible."

He quickly scooted away from her.

"What's wrong?"

His eyes were filled with terror as he looked at the one pony he used to trust.

"I'll see what's eating him. You just go meet with your friends, dear."

"Are you sure you can figure it out, Discord?"

"I'm sure. Just go and have fun."

"Um...see you later."

He gently closed the door beside her and sat down next to Angel. Seeing him didn't make the bunny feel any better because he performed the act with his owner.

"So...Want to be my first guy friend?"

He hurled his cup of coffee at the tall goat-lion-thingy. He was lucky enough to avoid it with his long neck. Angel quickly scampered away outside.

"Apparently not."

He reformed the coffee cup with his magic and even put the spilled coffee back in it. He looked both ways, then took a sip.

"Mmm, regular joe."

Out in the fields, Big Mac was plowing when he heard a strange noise coming from the Everfree Forest.

"Huh? Who's there?"

Discord poofed in front of him in a ball of fire.

"AAAAAAH! DISCORD!"

"Oh, no, it's quite alright, Macintosh. I mean you no harm."

"P-p-p-please don't eat me, Mr. Discord! Ah-ah got a family to take care of!"

"It's okay-"

"Ah mean, ah don't taste like apples...i-if that's what you're wondering. Ah just farm 'em!"

"It's okay!"

"Just please don't eat me alive! I'm beggin' ya'!"

"IT'S OKAY!"

He shivered on the ground with fear. Discord himself was surprised that he could make Big Macintosh, stallion of all stallions, act like Fluttershy.

"Uh...everything's fine. I promise, I'm not going to harm you in any way. I've changed."

"Why...why are ya' here, then?"

"Well, since my successful reformation, it turns out I am in dire need of a male friend. Somepony who shares the same gender and common interests. And I thought, 'Hey, how about Macintosh? He seems pretty cool.'"

"Uh...Well, ah appreciate tha' offer, and ah'm sure we can...hang out sometime, but ah've got chores to do."

Discord snapped his fingers, and the plow started working faster than Big Macintosh could ever pull it.

He watched in disbelief as the whole field was plowed in under 30 seconds. Then, a cloud came and rained down seeds on the freshly plowed soil. Then, a great earthquake closed up the ground around it, followed by a good rain of water to top it off.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

"H...how..."

"So, what do guy friends...do?"

"Ah'm not entirely sure mahself. Ah've spent most of mah life on this farm."

"Well, this is a dilemma..."

"What if we get another guy friend so it's not as...awkward?"

"Yes! Somepony who knows his way around this guy friend business!"

"Yeah, and if there's two of us walkin' around, they're gonna think somethin' is...up."

"Well, we wouldn't want them thinking that. Now, tell me, who are the other males in Ponyville?"

"Well, there's...no...or maybe...no...Oh, there's Miss Twilight's assistant. Ah think his name's Spike, but ah'm not sure."

"Ah, yes, Spike, the adorable baby dragon. You sure he's man enough to be in our group?"

"Well, ah've seen him breathe fire."

"Ooh, cool. He is definitely in."

"Ah guess we'd better...wrangle him up."

Big Mac headed towards the gate, but Discord grabbed him and held him close.

Then, he snapped his fingers, and they were teleported to outside Twilight's library.

Big Mac knocked on the door with his powerful front hoof. A sleepy baby dragon was soon there to answer it.

"Yeah, what? Oh, hey Big Mac. Who's the tall dude?"

"Well, uh, this is Discord. He's been wantin' to-"

"D-D-D-DISCORD?!"

Spike tried to run away, but Discord levitated him with his magic.

"Spike, I thought you, of all people, would've known that I've been reformed."

"Wha...? Oh, yeah, I completely forgot. It's just that when you say the name 'Discord', fear immediately strikes in your heart. It's like an instinct."

"So, Spike, what do you say? How would you like to be my second guy friend?"

"Uh...sure, dude. Since you've changed, I don't see any harm in it."

"Yeah, we dragons gotta stick together."

"You're not a dragon."

"I'm 10% dragon...on my mother's side."

He looked at his two new friends.

"Something still isn't right...I know what it is! We need a fourth! Quickly! Who's another colt that we can trust?"

"Well...there's Twilight's brother. But I don't think he can-"

Another snap brought Shining Armor out of thin air.

"What the...? This isn't Canterlot."

Discord's menacing face loomed over him.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

He shot multiple magic beams at him, but the draconequs reflected them all with his paws, much like Darth Vader.

"I won't let you take the kingdom, Discord! I won't let you-"

"Easy there, Axl. Don't you remember? I've changed."

"Ohh...dang it! I'm really sorry, Discord, I forgot."

"It was all over the news."

"Well, recently, the guards and I have been more concerned with Princess Luna's runaway banana boat. It's actually a really good story. A little big, but funny."

Cut to Princess Luna steering her boat down the Amazon with four renegade women beside her.

"Well, Shining Armor, how would you like to be my guy friend?"

"I'm still not sure...Are you absolutely positive that you've changed?"

"Absolutely positively."

"Would you be willing to take a...lie detector test?"

He poofed himself up a chair and a lie detector test.

"Go on, ask me."

"Uh...Have you completely reformed?"

"Yes."

The green light came back positive.

"Wait, does positive mean that he's positive for lying or...?"

"It means that I've passed."

"Well...can't argue with that..."

"Oh, this is so great! I've finally got my own group! This is so exciting!"

"Well...what now?" Big Mac asked.

"Uh...guess we should...hit the local pub?"

"It's daytime," Spike pointed out.

"Well, what do guys do in the daytime?"

"They're...with their wives?" Shining Armor said.

"Oh, that reminds me, Shining Armor, you're the lame married guy of the group, so you need to fill that role."

"Ooh, I know what guys do during the daytime!"

"What is it, Spike?"

"He's the young, naiive one," Discord whispered to Shining Armor.

"How about a game of cards? That's always entertaining."

The four were sitting in Twilight's house, silently looking over their cards.

"Um..." Discord broke the silence. "No rule that says we can't reminisce or talk about current events and play cards at the same time, right?"

"No," his friends answered.

"Okay, great...Hey, you guys know Fluttershy, right?"

"Yeah," they answered simultaneously.

"Well, since I've reformed, we've been kind of...dating. And last night, she was okay with it, so I..."

Everypony and dragon put down their cards and stared at him.

"You didn't."

"I sure did."

"Technically, I was the first to lose my virginity," said Shining Armor. "On my honeymoon night. Unless Big Mac here has..."

"Nope."

"Hey, this is, like, a huge deal! You might have gotten her pregnant, or something!" Spike yelled.

Discord's face broke out in fear, and he started to sweat. He never even thought about that.

"Pregnant...?" he asked in a small voice.

"Eeyup, like Granny Smith used tah say, 'Unprotected sexual intercourse always leads tah pregnancy.'"

"Her belly will get all swollen..." Spike continued.

"No."

"She'll have mood swings..." said Shining Armor.

"No!"

"And you'll have tah raise them draconequs/pony babies fer 18 years."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Discord's scream of anguish could be heard all the way from where the six friends were gathered at Rarity's boutique.

"I say, what was that?" asked Rarity.

"Sorry, guys, that was my tummy. I'm starving!"

"Pinkie's right. This is so boring!" Rainbow Dash complained.

Fluttershy's measurements were being taken by Rarity.

"Um...guys? Have you ever had somepony that you...liked?"

Silence came from her friends.

"You know...as a...coltfriend?"

"I have had several suitors, but they weren't good enough for me, so I turned them down," bragged Rarity.

"Coltfriends are overrated," Rainbow Dash said.

"Ah'm with ya'," agreed Applejack.

"Well...I don't mean this as an intrusive question, but...have any of you ever...taken it to the next level? Like...second base."

"I didn't know Fluttershy played baseball! GO FOR THE HOME RUN, FLUTTERSHY!"

"No, Pinkie, she means if you've ever...got to know...another pony," Twilight explained.

"Well, I know lots of ponies!"

"YOU DID?!" all of her friends exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm friends with all the ponies in Ponyville! You guys are my best friends, but-"

"No, Pinkie, she means-Oh, forget it."

"So, um...have you?"

"No," all of her friends answered. That didn't make her feel much better about her actions with Discord.


	3. Copyright to Queen

That night, Discord and his new buddies were at the bar, and he just couldn't shake the feeling that his new marefriend was pregnant. It troubled him, so much so that he couldn't even have fun.

"Alright, alright, why did the chicken cross tha' road?...Fer a completely legitimate reason!"

All the ponies and one dragon in the booth cracked up at Big Mac's joke, except for Discord, who was twiddling his thumbs.

"Hey, Discord, you've gotta lighten up! This was your idea for a party!"

"I'm sorry, Shining Armor. I can't have a good time when the constant burden of my marefriend being pregnant is on my scrawny shoulders."

"Here. Maybe this will help. Yo, barkeep! Two Applejack Daniels on the rocks!"

He moaned with sadness.

"Better make it three."

Three ice on the rocks were delivered to the group, free of charge because Shining Armor was active military.

Discord picked up the glass with both his hands, and took a little sip.

"Drink more than that!" urged Spike.

"Oh, no, I mustn't. The wife doesn't like me coming home intoxicated."

"Dude, you're not even married yet! Chill out! Have some fun!"

He cautiously downed a shot of the drink.

**French Narrator: Two minutes later...**

Discord was spinning around on his chair.

"You were right! I feel a thousand times better! I don't even remember what I was worried about!"

"I think it was-"

Shining Armor covered Spike's mouth before he could blurt out the answer.

"Gosh, this stuff is good! Get me two more!"

His wish was granted, and he downed them both in 10 seconds flat.

His uneven eyes were now switching back and forth from biggest to smallest, he was so drunk.

"Hey, look guys! Karaoke!"

"Discord, cool guys don't do that. Besides, we need 2 bits to-"

Discord was already gone to put two bits in the karaoke machine.

"Oh, no," his friends worried.

Ponyhemian Rhapsody had already started playing.

_Mama, just killed a man._

_Put a gun against his head,_

_Pulled my trigger, now he's dead._

_Mama, life has just begun,_

_But now I've gone and thrown it all away._

He dragged Big Mac on the stage with his magic.

"Oh, Discord, please don't make me do thi-

_Mama, ooh..._

_Didn't mean tah make ya' cry._

_If ah'm not back again this time tomorrow,_

_Carry on, carry on, as if nothin' really matters._

Mayor Mare was passing by the bar when she heard the singing.

"Ooh, I love this song! And I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics! But I hate baseball cards."

Shining Armor grabbed the mic.

_Too late, my time has come._

_Sends shivers down my spine,_

_Body's aching all the time._

_Goodbye, everypony, I've got to go._

_Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth._

Spike began to sing now.

_Mama, ooh..._

_Discord, Big Mac, and Shining Armor: Any way the wind blows._

_Spike: I don't wanna die! I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all!_

_*Epic guitar solo*_

_Discord: I see a silhouetto of a man._

_Big Mac, Shining Armor, and Spike: Saramouche, saramouce, will you do the Fandango?_

_All: Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me._

_Spike: Galileio!_

_Discord: Galileio._

_Spike: Galileio!_

_Discord: Galileio._

_Discord and Spike: Galileio Figaro._

_All: Magnifico..._

_Discord: I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me._

_All: He's just a poor boy from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity!_

_Discord: Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Bismillah!_

_All: No, we will not let you go!_

_Big Mac and Shining Armor: Let him go!_

_Discord: Bismillah!_

_All: We will not let you go!_

_Big Mac and Shining Armor: Let him go!_

_Discord: Bismillah!_

_All: We will not let you go!_

_Big Mac and Shining Armor: Let me go!_

_Spike and Discord: Will not let you go._

_Big Mac and Shining Armor: Let me go!_

_Spike and Discord: Will not let you go._

_All: Let me go... NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!_

_Discord: Oh, mama mia, mama mia!_

_All: Mama mia, let me go! Beezlebub has a devil put aside for me! For me! FOR ME...!_

Rainbow Dash was peacefully sleeping on a cloud when she heard the loud music.

"Hey, keep it down! Some ponies are trying to sleep!"

The noise continued, and she used a few small clouds in an attempt to cover her ears.

_Discord: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye!_

_So you think you can love me and leave me to die!_

_Ooh, baby! Can't do this to me, baby!_

_Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!_

_Nothing really matters,_

_Anypony can see._

_Nothing really matters._

_Nothing really matters...to me._

_Big Mac, Shining Armor, and Spike: Any way the wind blows..._

The crowd that had gathered was cheering loudly for their epic performance.

"Yeah! Get some! Get some!"

Discord used Shining Armor as a guitar and smashed him into the karaoke machine.

They were soon chased from the bar by the manager for wrecking his machine.

Meanwhile, at Fluttershy's cottage, she was concerned about Discord as she was waiting on her porch for him.

A few minutes later, she saw a rather tall and strange figure staggering down the dirt road. She immediately flew to her boyfriend's aid.

"Oh, Discord, what happened? I've been waiting for hours."

"Oh, a-a lot of...stuff, actually. We sang, and it was AWESOME! W-w-what about you?"

"...You're drunk, aren't you?"

"...Maybe."

Fluttershy sighed. "I was afraid of that. Discord, alcohol causes nothing but trouble, and you know that."

"...I'm sorry, what?"

She gently helped him inside and sat him down on the couch.

"It's okay. I'll go get you an ice pack."

When she came back, she saw him talking to the people on her TV.

"Uh, yeah...I-I've heard you, news man. Stop talking about that 24 hours a day."

"Discord...how many beers did you have?"

"I-I never counted...11?"

"Oh, my goodness."

She sat him back down on the couch and, instead of putting it on his head, she opened the ice pack and poured the frozen contents on Discord's face.

He coughed and sputtered for a moment before finally coming to his senses. The sobered up draconequs looked over at his girlfriend and remembered something that he had suppressed by drinking.

"...Fluttershy?"

"Yes, Discord?"

He wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I'm so, so sorry."

"...For what?"

"For getting you pregnant."

"Oh, that? Don't worry, Discord, I'm not pregnant."

"You're not?"

"Well, I don't know yet. While you were gone, I took a pregnancy test because, in all honesty, I've been just as worried about this as you."

"Well...when's it gonna be ready?"

"Right about...now."

She fluttered over to the bathroom and held the slip of paper in her hooves. Discord anxiously waited as Fluttershy made the announcement.

"Oh...thank Celestia, it's negative!"

"Yes! YES! I mean, aw."

"What's wrong?"

"You know...as much as I loathed the idea of parenthood, I kind of wanted a kid to play catch with and run a seven-legged race with, or five-legged in my case."

"Didn't you already have a kid?"

"No, that was just something the bronies made up on their silly little website. I think it's called 'Equestria Weekly', or something."

He took the slip of paper in his hands.

"Are you sure it's negative?"

"Um, Discord, that has my pee on it."

"EW!"

He dropped the pregnancy test, then ran to the bathroom to wash his hands.

"Well, certainly, this incident has shown us that we should be more careful about when we get together," said Fluttershy.

"Yeah...you're so pretty, though, and it's really hard to-"

"I know, honey, I know. But let's just save it for when we get married. Because if we wait, then our honeymoon night is going to be all the more magical."

"Yeah..."

He finished washing his hands and headed towards the couch.

"You coming to bed soon?"

"Yeah, I've just got to watch the newest episode of Two and a Half Colts."

She headed towards her bed while Discord laughed away at the television set.

_" I just can't believe he's gone."_

_"Isn't that why we're going to the funeral, though, to make sure?"_

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Later that night, when Discord had come to bed and was fast asleep, Fluttershy sprung on top of him. She admitted, she couldn't control herself, and she was sitting on top of a very sensitive place for boys.

"Huh, wha...?"

He awoke to see Fluttershy in an awkward position on top of him and smiling nervously.

'AAAAAAAH! RAPE! SUCCUBUS!"

Thinking Fluttershy was a rapist, he sprayed pepper spray in her eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Fluttershy?! What was that about?!"

She was crying because the pepper spray stung her eyes.

"Discord...maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we decided to have a baby before getting married."

"Are you mad, woman?! You inspired me to take your advice, and that's what I'm sticking to!"

"You'd better sleep with one eye open, Discord," she threatened.

"I'll do what I must."

He sprayed some of the pepper spray underneath the sheets.

"Huh. This doesn't feel half as bad as I-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Quick, rub it off between your haunches! Wait...nice try."

He slowly backed out of the room in an awkward position.


	4. insert chapter title here

After two weeks, Applejack was walking over to Fluttershy's. She had arranged an appointment for them a few days ago, and she was running late. Applejack, being a worrier, went over to see what was the matter.

"Fluttershy?...Ya' in there?"

The country earth pony slowly creaked the door open. The inside of Fluttershy's house had a grayish atmosphere, and everything was too silent. Mice were scampering everywhere, and somepony...or something...had broken into her fridge to steal her food.

"What the...?"

She heard what sounded like her friend coming from the bathroom. Applejack ran to the bathroom and saw Fluttershy on the floor, looking paler than she'd ever seen her.

"Fluttershy? Ya' alright, sugarcube?"

"Yes, Applejack, I'm fine. No need to worry."

She suddenly sprung up, and she vomited into her toilet.

"Well, from the looks of ya', ah'd say that ya' ain't."

Another surge came over her, and she vomited again. She tried to flush to get rid of all of it, but it overflowed with the stuff.

"Ew...Fluttershy, we've gotta get you to the doctor!"

"No, Applejack, I'm not sick. I'm just a little...under the weather.'

She tried to stand up to prove it, but she collapsed under her own weight.

"How long ya' been this way, sugarcube? And where's that rat boyfriend of yers? He should be helpin' ya!"

"He left...a few weeks ago. He's afraid I'm going to..."

She vomited again into her bathtub this time.

"Come with me."

She offered a helping hoof to her friend.

"No, Applejack, I don't want you to catch whatever I've got."

"Ah won't. You need help."

She cautiously took her friend's hoof, and she led her out the door.

The sunlight stung the pegasus' eyes as they walked down the road to the hospital.

"Yer animals looked a little malnourished."

Fluttershy gasped and looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm sorry...I've been in that bathroom for two days. I ate toothpaste to survive."

Applejack smelled her breath.

"Mmm, minty."

"Forget it, I don't need the hospital. I have to feed my critters."

She tried to let go of Applejack and go towards her house, but she couldn't support herself. She couldn't even crawl more than a few inches without tiring out.

Applejack lifted Fluttershy onto her back and carried her all the way to the hospital.

In the doctor's office, Applejack was waiting with Fluttershy and supporting her.

"It's alright. Ah'm sure it's just a little case of the flu or hay fever."

"I'm just glad none of the animals couldn't catch what I've got. Especially Angel, he catches any bunny disease that's going around."

The doctor came in, and they both perked up.

"Okay, uh...Fluttershy, I've got some good news and some bad news."

"Give us the bad news," said Applejack.

"Well, this statement is kind of a mixture of good and bad. Also kind of shocking. Are you ready for this?"

The two held each other's hooves.

"Fluttershy...you don't have a disease. This sickness you've been feeling is just part of the early stages of pregnancy."

Applejack's eyes grew bigger than Fluttershy had ever seen.

"WAIT...SHE'S...?!"

"Yep, she's preggers. Two weeks, to be exact."

"Ah...ah can't believe this!"

"But doctor, I don't understand. I took a pregnancy test, and it came back negative."

"Oh, did you use that dollar store brand? Yeah, they recalled those a week ago. Man...who would've thought?"

The doctor wrote something on a prescription pad and handed it to Fluttershy.

"Here's some antibiotics for your symptoms and, uh, don't drink alcohol or do any strenuous activity for nine months. So, uh...Bye."

He left them to handle current issues.

"Fluttershy...Ah never would've thought..."

"I'm sorry, Applejack. We didn't know what we were doing. I'm so stupid."

"No, you're not stupid. You're about to be a mom. That's tha' greatest gift a pony could ever have."

She gave a teary smile to her friend.

"Look, uh, everypony else is at Sugarcube Corner. Maybe we should break tha' news to them-"

"No! What will they think of me?"

"Sugarcube, we're your friends. We'll support you and love you no matter what."

"Even in this situation?"

"Especially in this situation. He said, 'No strenuous activity.' Well, as yer friends, we're gonna help ya' take care of yer critters."

"But Applejack, I can-"

"No, ya' can't. There's somepony inside of you that's dependin' on you, Fluttershy. And takin' care of him or her is yer number one priority. You just focus on that, and we'll take care of the rest."

She hugged Applejack tightly and couldn't help that happy tears were flowing down her eyes and onto Applejack's mane.

"Just sit here, Mr. Graves, and..."

The doctor noticed that they were still in his office.

"Oh. You two are still here."

"We'll be on our way."

"Thank you so much."

The patient stared at Fluttershy's flank as she walked away.

"Don't even think about it, man. She's knocked up."

"Aw, dang."

Outside of the Cakes' Bakery, Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were talking while Rainbow Dash was showing them something.

"What in Equestria is that, Rainbow Dash?" asked Rarity.

"Oh, this? This is 72/20 Energy Drink, the official energy drink of the Wonderbolts. When I drink a couple of bottles of this, I'll be faster than the fastest-"

"Uh...howdy, y'all. Fluttershy here has somethin' to tell ya'."

She stod in front of her friends, trying to overcome her shyness to tell them.

"Well, are you gonna tell 'em, or should I?"

"Tell us what, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

She took a deep breath and kind of hid behind her silky, pink curtain of a mane as she spoke.

"Um...I'm..."

She trailed off into something barely audible.

"What?" all of her friends asked.

"Um...I said, I'm..."

"Speak up so we can hear ya', Fluttershy."

She braced herself for the worst as she spoke up. All of her friends were leaning in close so they could hear.

"I'm...pregnant."

Upon hearing this, Rainbow Dash choked on her first sip of energy drink.

"Oh, Fluttershy, congratulations!"

Rarity ran up and hugged her tight, almost knocking her down.

"I am so happy for you! Oh, you're going to be a mom! That is just...the most precious thing ever! I can't stand it!"

"Well, she is the oldest of us, so I guess it makes sense," explained Twilight.

"Fluttershy's gonna give me two new babies to play with! This rocks!"

They all embraced in a group hug, except for Rainbow Dash.

"Where ya' goin', Dash?" called Applejack.

"Oh, I'm just gonna congratulate Discord myself. No big deal."

"Ah don't like her tone. You'd better follow her, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy caught up to her friend, heading towards Discord's spinning house in the sky.

"Rainbow Dash, what are you gonna do?"

"I just wanna talk to him."

She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a double-barrel shotgun.

"Wait, why do you have a gun?!"

"I just wanna talk to him," she said as she loaded her weapon.

"Rainbow Dash, please don't!"

"I just wanna talk to him." She flew up to his front porch, Fluttershy in close pursuit.

"You can't kill him!"

"I just wanna-" She knocked on the door.

"Please!"

"I just wanna shoot him."

The first thing Discord saw when he answered the door was Rainbow Dash's gun in his face.

"Whoa, WHOA! WHAT THE HAY?!"

"No, please don't shoot him, Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy sobbed at her feet.

"You got my friend pregnant, scumbag! Now, you're gonna pay for it...with your life!"

She clicked her gun and pressed it into his forehead.

"Dang it, what was I gonna say after that? Oh, yeah. (Russian accent) Say hello to my little friend!"

"I thought I was your little friend, Rainbow Dash!" yelled Scootaloo from the ground.

"You are, squirt, I'm just...making a reference."

"Making a what?"

"Nevermind."

"Wait just a minute!"

He pushed Rainbow's gun out of the way and kneeled down to where Fluttershy was crying.

"Fluttershy...you're pregnant?"

She sadly nodded.

"Well...this changes everything! Even if Rainbow Dash wasn't aiming a gun at my head, I still wouldn't have a choice."

He took the twist tie from the loaf of bread he was eating and fashioned it into a ring.

"Fluttershy, I know this is a bit sudden, but...will you make me the happiest being in the world and...marry me?"

"Say WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Isn't that why you took the gun?"

"Uh...sure, let's go with that."

Fluttershy stared at the engagement necklace in shock, then pure joy and happiness.

"Oh, Discord...Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!"

He put the ring on her, and they hugged tightly.

"Well, looks like my work here is done."

She threw the gun on the ground 1,000 feet below. Offscreen, it discharges and shoots somepony in the kneecap.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

"Oh, sorry!"

Rainbow Dash flies down to tend to the injured colt.

"Oh, she's gone. Wanna make out?" Discord asked.

"Okay."

They pressed their lips together and made out as an engaged couple.


	5. I am a robot, not a miracle worker

After the announcement that Discord was engaged to Fluttershy, Rarity immediately volunteered for the position of wedding planner.

"So, you two will be getting married on this cliff, overlooking the ocean. On the first warm and sunny day of spring, you will forever bond your union on that spot over there."

Due to a large wave, a whole chunk of the cliff fell off and splashed into the raging rapids below.

"Apparently not."

Rarity then led them to a big ballroom.

"How about here?"

"Oh, I don't care where the wedding is, Rarity. Just as long as we're married happily and safely," said Fluttershy.

"Hey, what do you say we head down to the courthouse and seal our union there?"

"Okay."

"NO!"

Rarity blocked the door to the ballroom.

"No friend of mine is going to get married in a courthouse! Sure, the architecture is nice inside, but really, where is the tradition?"

"If you say so, Rarity. You know more about this than I do."

"Well, of course, I do, dear."

She studied her friend for a moment.

"Fluttershy, I have got just the gown in mind! I've already got your measurements from when you visited my boutique! Of course, I'm going to have to make some arrangements for that belly of yours."

She was only a month pregnant, so her belly didn't swell much.

"It will probably get even bigger by the wedding, but I can make it work. I am a professional designer, after all."

She walked over to her fiancee.

"Discord! Such a tall and slender frame! A nice tuxedo would work just fine for you! Would you like that with pants or without pants?"

"If you're trying to make a move on me, Rarity, it's not going to work."

She turned red with embarassment.

"What? I wasn't trying to...Silly Discord! I'm simply the wedding planner, and nothing more!"

"It's fine. I think I still have my waitering outfit from when I was being reformed at Fluttershy's house."

"Oh, no no no! You have to have a specially made tuxedo for a wedding! That's just how it's done!"

"Yeah, sure."

"Um...how much do we owe you, Rarity?"

"Not one bit, Fluttershy! I'm your friend! All I ask in return is...getting to be the godmother."

"Oh, we haven't really thought about a godmother. I guess you can-"

"Oh, wonderful! I've just got to get to the matter of the attire, plus the attire for the flower girls, bridesmaids-"

"Oh, no, we forgot the bridesmaids!"

"And my best colt!"

"That's alright, you two. You can figure it out. Now, flower girls. Who are they going to be?"

"Um...I guess the flower girls could be the Cutie Mark Crusaders," suggested Fluttershy.

"Yes, I owe them for setting me free from stone. Yeah, they can be flower girls."

"I already have Sweetie Belle's size, but I guess I'll have to round up Scootaloo and Applebloom."

"Good luck with that."

"Any idea for a ring bearer?"

"...Spike?" they both said.

"Unless he wants to be my best colt."

"So...undecided?"

"Yeah," they agreed.

"Just get that information to me as soon as you can."

"We will, Rarity," said Fluttershy.

"Well, the next 100 hours are pretty much set for me. You just worry about that baby inside...I'll be in touch."

Rarity rushed back to her boutique and sealed herself inside her fashion studio.

"What do you think the baby will look like?" asked Discord.

"Probably a mix of you and me."

Discord used his X-ray vision and looked inside Fluttershy. The fetus was still too small to tell, about the size of a pea, but it was there.

"Yeah, probably what you just said."

"I can't believe we're actually getting married. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

They leaned in for another kiss.

"Hey! Keep the kissing private!" yelled Rainbow Dash as she flew by.

They quickly pulled away from each other, embarassed.

Later, Discord and his friends were hanging out with Big Mac at Sweet Apple Acres. He had already told them about the whole business of godfather.

"I think I would make a good godfather. I could teach your kid things, Discord. Things that would help him in real life," proclaimed Shining Armor.

"What?! Ya' can't be godfather and regular father at tha' same time!"

"I don't have a kid."

"Well, yer married, so any day now."

Big Mac and Shining Armor argued over who wold be the better godfather.

"Guys, guys, cool it!"

Even that didn't stop them, so he summoned a great thunderclap that quieted them down.

"Here's what we'll do; We'll draw straws. Whoever has the shortest straw is godfather, second shortest is best colt, and longest is ring bearer.

They each drew individual straws from a hay bale on Sweet Apple Acres. In the end, Shining Armor got shortest, Big Mac came in second, and Spike ended up in last.

"See? It all comes out fair."

"Uh, Discord?"

"Yes, Spike?"

"I don't know if you can trust me as ringbearer. Especially if those rings have GEMS."

"Maybe they won't have gems, but I can't promise you that. This is Rarity we're talking about."

"Hey, Discord, since you're about to get married, maybe we should start planning your...bachelor party," said Shining Armor.

"Bachelor's degree? Well, I'm glad you asked. I got it from-"

"No, no, I mean bachelor _party_."

"...Wuzzat?"

"It_'_s sort of your last huzzah before you get married. Like, a big party."

"Well, I am fond of parties...Throw me one of those bachelor parties as soon as possible!"

"Trust me, Discord, this bachelor party is gonna be one of the best yet. Am I right, Shining Armor?" asked Spike.

"Yeah, Spike does throw great parties. Especially at mine..."

"It was so intense that the episode couldn't even show what happened in there! I like to consider myself second place in party throwing in Ponyville, next to Pinkie Pie."

"Sure, Spike. Throw me a great bachelor party."

"One of the best yet! Uh...is it okay if the greatest bachelor party ever is held in the library?"

"Uh, sure. As long as it's not a book club or anything."

"Oh-ho, there will be no books involved. Trust me here, bro."

"I trust you here, bro."


	6. Bachelor Parties Can Be Fun

At Sugarcube Corner, Fluttershy was having the best bachelorette party anypony could ask for. Her friends had helped her immensely, helping her take care of her animals and basic household chores. She felt she was taking advantage of them, but they insisted that they're doing their jobs as her friends.

More ponies had shown up for the party than she expected. All of her friends were there, plus Lyra and Bon-Bon, Carrot Top, Derpy, Cadence, and even Spitfire, whom Rainbow Dash was staring at the whole time.

"Thank you all so much. This is all so kind of you. Um...what do you do at a bachelorette party?"

"Well, I've been reading up on some books, and it says we're supposed to...talk about things that we couldn't in front of our men," said Twilight.

"Wait a second, Fluttershy's the only one here with a man," corrected Rainbow Dash.

"But not the only one in a domestic union," added Bon-Bon, smiling at Lyra.

"Okay, then we'll just talk about stuff that we usually talk about."

"I wonder when Rarity will make it. She's gonna miss the party of a lifetime!" said Pinkie, impatiently.

"She said she was busy."

At her boutique, Rarity was laboring over whether to put rubies or gems on a particular outfit.

"Hmm..."

"Oh, well, guess I have to play my party mix without her."

She started up her iPony and played a random house music song.

"I've got an idea," said Vinyl Scratch. "How about we pick some of the unmarried guys and talk about how hot they are?"

"Excellent choice, Vinyl. Staying on-topic," congratulated Twilight.

"Wait, before we get into that, um...Twilight, what are some of the symptoms of pregnancy? So I can check if everything's normal."

Twilight levitated her bookbag and got out her MD Book.

"I mean, I've dealt with pregnant animals before, but some of the symptoms are different in ponies."

"Of course, Fluttershy. I'm glad you care about your baby."

"This isn't the baby shower yet, you know," said Rainbow Dash.

"Well, at two months of pregnancy, symptoms may include, but are not limited to; Frequent Urination..."

"I've gotta go!"

She ran to the bathroom as fast as she could, then came back with a piece of toilet paper on her hoof.

"...Fatigue..."

She yawned cutely.

"...Missed Period..."

She does nothing.

"...and Dizziness or Fainting."

She sees stars, then blacks out right on the couch.

"I've got this, Twilight."

Rainbow Dash walks up to her, then yells right in her ear.

"FLUTTERSHY, WAKE UP! THE COTTAGE IS ON FIRE! ANGEL'S DEAD!"

"WHAT?! OH NO! MY ANGEL! MY ANGEL!"

"Hehe, naw, I'm just kidding. But now that I have your attention, why don't we play some party games, or something?"

"Ooh, I know what to play!"

Pinkie set the Game of Life down on the coffee table.

"What? You want us to play a board game?" Spitfire asked.

"Emphasis on BORED?" Rainbow Dash agreed.

"Aw, come on, guys! I didn't think it would be fun either, but after I played a game of this, I played five games that day! It's so fun!"

"Eh...alright, I guess we can give it a try," said Spitfire. "And maybe we could put a little wager on it."

"Yeah, I'm with Spitfire," chimed in Rainbow Dash.

"How about, loser has to wear a 'Kick Me' sign for the rest of the week."

"HAHAHAH! You're so funny, Spitfire!"

She knew Rainbow Dash was sucking up to her, but she didn't care much about it.

"I just wonder what the guys are up to," Fluttershy wondered. "None of our business, I guess."

Back at the greatest bachelor party ever, Discord, Spike, and Big Mac were playing their usual card game.

"Hey, when's Shining Armor gonna get here?" asked Spike.

"Didn't he come here with his wife?"

Not long after Big Mac spoke, Shining Armor finally arrived.

"Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late, but I brought a friend."

A stallion in a Wonderbolts uniform entered the library.

"Everypony, this is Soarin, from the Wonderbolts."

"Sup?" he greeted.

"Sup?" they all replied.

"So, who's the poor guy that's getting hitched?"

"Yo," said Discord.

"I feel sorry for you, man. But, you know, since this is your last free night of partying that you'll ever have, I say that we have a little fun, maybe call in some female 'entertainment'."

"Oh, like singers? Or jugglers? Maybe clowns! Or maybe clowns that sing and juggle...chainsaws!"

"No, I mean, like, prostitutes."

"Prostitutes? I dunno, Soarin. Fluttershy would never forgive me-"

"Look, Discord, this is your last night of being a full man. After you get married, you will be castrated."

"Physically?"

"No, just metaphorically. The wife will be nagging everything you do every second of the day. Am I right, Shining Armor?"

"Well, it's not that bad, actually. Sometimes, we come to a mutual agreement, and-Oh, who am I kidding? My manhood is drained."

"Your call, man."

He had a look of determination on his face.

"Soarin...call the prostitutes...because I don't know their number."

"Uh, Discord, I have a question," said Spike.

"And what is that, my purple friend?"

"What's a prostitute?"

Pretty soon, the library was full of them, about 16 in all.

One was giving Big Mac a lap dance, and the other was massaging his shoulders. Overall, he didn't enjoy any of it.

"Yes, y-yer rear end is very nice. Please stop showin' me!"

Another two were advancing on Shining Armor.

"You've got to understand! I'm married! I can't just-"

They tackled him to the ground, despite his kicks and screams.

Meanwhile, about seven were gathered around Soarin, telling a story.

"So, there I was, about to fall to my death, when all of a sudden, I gather the remaining strength left in me to unfurl my wings and do a double barrel roll before landing safely on the rocky surface below."

"Oooooh..."

As Derpy spun the wheel on Game of Life, Fluttershy looked around nervously.

"I win!"

"You don't win yet, Derpy. You still have a few more spaces to go."

Twilight gave her some money from the tile she landed on and handed the wheel to Fluttershy.

She spun and landed on the Get Married spot.

"Ooooooohh..." went everypony in the room.

Rainbow picked up a boy and a girl piece and held them together as if they were kissing. Every mare in Sugarcube Corner was hysterically chuckling right now, except for Fluttershy.

"What's eatin' ya', sugarcube? That was funny," said Applejack, still laughing.

"I don't know, Applejack. All of a sudden, I have the feeling that something is...off."

"Ah'm sure it's nothin'."

"No, it...it doesn't feel like nothing."

She flew out the door.

"I'm sorry, everypony, I just have to go investigate."

"Well, I do love a good investigation," said Octavia.

The mares followed the pregnant pegasus down the road and over to the library.

As she approached, she gasped at what she saw in the window. Two prostitutes were gathered around her fiancee, and he looked like he was enjoying their presence.

"You were right, Soarin! This is the best!"

"What'd I tell ya'?"

"I mean, all you do is give them money, and they'll do whatever you want!"

He handed her a few bits.

"Eat dirt."

She got a clump of dirt from a flower pot and tried her best to down it.

"Hahahahahahahaha! This is the best day of my life!"

But it was soon to become the worst. Fluttershy slammed the door open, looking redder and madder than Discord had ever seen her.

"WHAT...IS...THIS?!"

"...IT WAS HIM!" said all the males, pointing at each other.


	7. Fluttershy's PissedGod Help Us All

She was kicking the prostitutes and chasing them out of the house.

"Go on! Get out of here! Go on! And don't come back!"

"Uh, we still need our money," one of them called back.

She hurled a few bits straight at them.

"GET!"

She slammed the door so hard, it almost fell off its hinges.

"Big Mac!"

He tried to escape, but Applejack soon grabbed him by the ear.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow!"

"How dare you! You was raised better than this!"

"Trust me, sis, ah didn't enjoy any of it!" he protested as he was dragged out the door.

"Soarin!"

Spitfire soon grabbed him in an earhold.

"I told you not to party too hard! We have a performance tomorrow!"

"Yeah, Soarin!" said Rainbow Dash, grabbing his other ear.

"I like your style, bad boy," she whispered to him.

"Shining Armor!"

Cadence grabbed him in the same place.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, mister!"

"Uh...Cadence, I would never cheat on you with those girls! I mean, I-I didn't like any of them, and none of them were as pretty as my beautiful alicorn wife! I mean, seriously! You are the..."

She was happy enough by now to spread a love potion over him.

"What do you say we go back to Canterlot and make more love than this horn ever could?"

"Okay!" he said enthusiastically. "Late, muthas! Um...bye, Twiley."

He flew back to Canterlot on her back. As Twilight waved at him, she realized something.

"Oh, my gosh! Where's Spike?!"

She found him in the bathtub, hanging out with two more prostitutes.

"The only thing hotter than this tub is you two ladies."

"SPIIIIIKE!"

She levitated him out of the tub, despite his kicks and screams. The two girls giggled at his overall cuteness.

"Fluttershy, we've got two more up here!"

The raging Pegasus cornered them, turning their laughs into fear.

She picked up the tub and dumped them out, water and all, all the way down the stairs.

The ponies who didn't have an ear to grab were left in the house.

"Everypony, please leave. My 'fiancee' and I need to talk," she said, trying to keep calm (and flutter on).

"But...it's my house-" Twilight began to protest.

"NOW!" she growled fiercely.

Everypony excused themselves and exited the house as fast as possible.

Discord tried to tip-toe towards the door, but Fluttershy threw a vase at him, missing him by just inches.

"Uh...Fluttershy, I can explain!"

She stared at him with literal fire in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, babe, okay?! I'm really sorry!"

She pushed him up against a wall.

"You think you're sorry?! HUH?! How are you gonna prove you're sorry?!"

"Trust me, Fluttershy, I would never cheat on you. You're the only girl for me."

She was still angry, but not as furious as she loosened her grip on him.

"Those women? They probably had STD's and all that nasty stuff. I wouldn't want them over my beautiful wife-to-be."

Her ears drooped a little, and she backed off further.

"One of them looked alright, actually-"

It tightened all of a sudden.

"But she would never in her life be as smart and pretty as you!"

Her grip loosened completely, and she fell to the floor. Discord layed down next to her.

"You know you're the most beautiful pony in Equestria to me, right?"

"I was just so afraid...That you'd left me for another."

"I would never do that. Fluttershy, I may have been a caniver, a deciever, but I was never a liar. And I swore to you when I got engaged to you that I would be by your side all the days of-"

Before he could say another word, she pulled him in for another kiss.

"Sorry, I really needed that."

"Likewise. I know you're pregnant and going through all these wild mood swings."

"I'm really sorry, Discord, I should've trusted you."

"Tell you what, Fluttershy, I won't party any more today. Since this bachelor party is officially ruined."

"I'm sorry for ruining all the fun."

"No, don't be. They were about to do...things to Big Mac and Shining Armor. So I'm glad you showed up."

She put her head in his lap, and he slowly ran his hands through her silky pink mane. There were no knots or tangles, so he had an easy time doing it. She just looked so peaceful and cute that he felt like his heart would explode...twice.

Everypony outside was watching the heartwarming scene. All of them were smiling, except for Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah, I'm bored. You guys wanna see a movie, or something?"

They all agreed and headed towards the theater.

**French Narrator: Two hours later...**

As they walked home through the night, all of them were laughing crazily hard from the comedy. Even Pinkie Pie was laughing abnormally heavy for her.

"Hey..." Rainbow Dash said between chuckles. "You guys remember the part when the robot said to the cashier 'Money is illogical', and then he got really mad?"

They laughed even harder over the memory of it.

"Yeah!" Twilight remarked. "And then, he chased him with a gun, but it only put out a sign that said 'Bang!'"

They were all choking on laughter at this point.

"I'll see you girls tomorrow!" said Twilight and Spike before departing back to the library.

"So, you're not still mad at me, right?" asked Spike.

"Mad about what?" she said when she found a break in the chuckles.

"Uh...nothing."

"Thank you, comedy," he whispered.

She opened the door and found Discord leaned up against the wall, sleeping soundly, Fluttershy in his lap and doing the same thing.

"Should we just leave them there or..." Spike asked.

"They'll wake up eventually."

He headed upstairs with Twilight, still staring at them just sleeping. He thought it was a bit creepy, but Twilight found it quite romantic and cute.

The Pegasus' eyes opened around 1AM. She yawned and stretched, then rubbed her eyes to see that it was still dark out.

"How did I get here...?"

Her boyfriend was not by her side, having woken up about an hour earlier. She looked for him and saw him sipping tea made from Twilight's kettle.

"Discord, what are you doing?!" she yelled while keeping a quiet whisper while Twilight and Spike were sleeping.

"What's it look like I'm doing? I was thirsty," he explained as he took a sip.

"You don't understand! That's Twilight's tea!"

"...You want some?"

She gracefully, with one move, took the teacup from him and poured the contents down the sink.

"No! My morning refreshment!" he yelled a little louder than he should have.

She kissed him on the cheek as he looked at the drain, forlorn.

"Come on. There's some perfectly good tea over at the cottage. All natural."

Discord perked up, as he thought it was a reference for sex, but in reality, they were literally drinking some natural-brewed tea while watching infomercials.

"That's neat. You can hang tomato plants upside-down. I need to get that for my garden."

Her boyfriend yawned and thought about going back to bed.

"You know, I think I'm gonna hit the hay."

"Me, too. We're getting married in a few hours."


	8. A Ponyville Wedding

It was finally here. The day that forever linked Discord and Fluttershy: Their wedding day.

It was a sunny spring day, just after Winter Wrap Up, and everything was perfect. Rarity had arranged all the decorations in a precacious and delicate manner, and tried to fit Fluttershy into her wedding gown.

"Your belly is bigger than I expected!"

"I'm sorry."

"You can't help yourself, dear. You have a baby inside of you. Otherwise, you'd be skinny as a weed. It was my fault for not making this out of more elastic material. Now, let's see...We need a quick fix."

She looked around in her chest of emergency supplies and pulled out a girdle. She wrapped it around her friend and began pulling.

"Rarity...please be careful! I don't wannna hurt the baby!"

"It's going to inherit you and Discord's skinny genes! It should be alright!"

She pulled harder, but it just wouldn't stay.

"Oh, what are we going to do?! The wedding is in an hour!" Rarity panicked. "I can't let this all be for nothing! I've worked too hard!"

"It won't be, Rarity. We've just got to think."

"I didn't make another dress, Fluttershy! I'm a failure of a wedding planner!"

"No, you're not. Everything is wonderful, besides this minor mishap. I can just go without the dress and take the veil."

"But...the outfit fits together so perfectly..."

"Then I guess I'll just have to squeeze in."

She pulled the dress over her belly, but it only got through halfway before it ripped apart.

"Or...maybe not."

The white unicorn fell to the ground on her knees, then crawled into a fetal position. She was so frightened at the time that she didn't even need her couch to lie down on.

"Wait...Rarity, do you have other dresses at your boutique?"

"I suppose, but that's all the way across town. And none of the dresses are as elegant as that dress was."

"They'll have to do."

Despite her baby weighing her down, Fluttershy could still hover over the city streets and some small buildings. She had to avoid some obstacles, but in about five minutes, she dropped by the sidewalk of the boutique, more exhausted than she'd ever been in her life.

She managed to barely crawl inside and snag a white, frilly maternity dress that looked enough like a wedding dress to pass. It fit perfectly.

All she had to do now was fly all the way back across town and back to the wedding.

She said a brief prayer, then spread her wings to take flight.

"Wait...I could just take the shuttlebus."

She hopped on the bus and sped towards the wedding.

"No! No! I can't do it!"

Discord's friends were trying to drag him out of the carriage.

"Yes, you can!" they screamed.

"You don't understand! I-I'm afraid!"

"Them are just pre-weddin' jitters! You'll get over 'em!" pleaded Big Mac.

"These are more than just jitters!"

They pryed his hands from the doorframe of the carriage and placed him in front of the altar with Princess Celestia, who was presiding over the ceremony.

He tried to run, but they held him firmly in place.

"Don't make us hog-tie ya'. 'Cause we will," the big Earth pony threatened.

"I'm fine. I-I just need something to calm me down. Something-"

Rainbow Dash took out her phone and played an episode of Two and a Half Colts for him.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

She stepped off the bus, thanking the driver.

"Fluttershy, thank goodness! I apologize for not getting the maternity dress earlier! Your belly was still so small, and I didn't think it would grow this big in a month!"

'It's okay, Rarity. Really, I-"

She coughed as her unicorn friend gave her a quick powder-up.

"Keep your head up, and don't forget to smile. Now, get in there!"

When she got to the steps of the room, she realized the immensity of this situation. The whole 'rest of your life with one person' things started creeping up on her, and Rarity had to hold her up.

"This is no time for pre-wedding jitters, now! I'm sure he's going through the same thing!"

She took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

Rainbow Dash put her phone away and watched as her friend was stepping toward her destiny. Derpy was on the organ, playing a messed-up version of 'Here Comes the Bride'. The Cutie Mark Crusaders did their job and sprinkled flowers in her path. She did her job and smiled, but was careful not to step on many of the flowers if she could help it. Angel was even by her side in a little tuxedo, walking with her down the aisle.

"A lot of the bronies will probably be mad that I'm marrying her instead of you," Discord whispered to the Princess.

"Not really. Discord x Fluttershy is the third most-common Discord shipping. Following you with me and you with Pinkie Pie."

"Pinkie would only like me for my chocolate rain."

"Probably so."

She finally got down to the altar. She grabbed his outreached hands, which helped her stand on two legs.

"Welcome, everypony. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two unlikely creatures; Fluttershy and Discord. Now, before we begin, allow me to read a passage from-"

"Ahem!"

Rarity pointed at her watch impatiently.

"Okay, then I'll just skip to the good part. Fluttershy, do you take Discord to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And Discord, do you take Fluttershy to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"BUCK YEAH!"

The crowd gasped, and the princess glared at him for using inappropriate language.

"I mean, uh, yes I do."

"Now, if anypony objects to this union, speak now, or forever hold their peace."

The room remained silent.

"Really? Nopony? Then, by the power invested in me and this rod..."

She used the rod to hit Discord over the head with.

"Ow!"

"...I hereby pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

As he lifted her veil to deliver the final step of sealing their marriage, he noticed that he had become caught in something; The sparkle in her eyes allured him like a fish to a worm It held him and just wouldn't let go.

As he bent down, Fluttershy could smell his centuries-old breath. It kind of smelled like the inside of an old book, but much, much stronger. She didn't mind the smell much, and they kissed harder and more passionately than they ever had.

"Eww!" Rainbow Dash averted her eyes.

"Aww," adored all the other bridesmaids (Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack).

Just as they finished the kiss, Rarity pushed them to the other side of the room.

"Alright, let's keep it moving. We've only got this place for another hour."

They spent the rest of the wedding shoving cake in each other's mouths and laughing, nothing more than that, except the occasional chicken dance hosted by Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash could hardly grab a slice without feeling sick to her stomach with all the sappiness in the air.

"I'm, uh...I'm gonna go out for a smoke."

Fluttershy and Discord didn't even hear her, as they were too happy in each other's company.

She walked down the hall and closed the door gently behind her. She went outside and leaned against the brick wall, warmed by the Sun.

"Aw, who am I kidding? I don't smoke."

"That's good. It's a hard habit tah break."

Rainbow jumped 10 feet in the air when she saw Applejack right beside her.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," she said as she huffed her cigarette. "Rolled this mahself."

"Oh, uh, that's cool."

They just scuffed their hooves against the pavement for a while.

"Ah don't buy cigarettes from them tobacco companies 'cause it ain't really tobacco they're puttin' in there. They add all those chemicals and whatnot. This 'ere is tobacco straight from the farm."

"I didn't know you guys grew tobacco."

"Well, sure. Y'all ever heard of a farm that makes a livin' by sellin' just apples?"

"...No?"

"Shoot, no. We got some squash comin' in already."

"Yeah, it...looks like a good year."

"Erm...how y'all handlin' this Fluttershy business? Ya' know, with her Fluttertyin' the knot."

"Hehe. Fluttertying the knot...You know what? Gimme one of those."

She rolled a cigarette for her friend.

"You got a light?"

She handed her a magnifying glass.

"Just let the Sun light it."

"Sounds dangerous. But cool!"

She carefully angled the magnifying glass and the butt of the cigarette. and sure enough, it caught fire right before her eyes.

"Whoa!"

"Purty neat, huh?"

"Yeah!"

She took a huff, and blew it out in a ring of smoke.

"I just never thought that...Fluttershy would get married. Pregnant at the same time...All of this before me."

Applejack's interest was peaked.

"I mean, all my life, I've been ahead of her. I'm a better flyer than her, a better public speaker, a better-"

"We get the point."

"Right. Now...she's the first to the punch...I guess I should congratulate her. But I can't handle all the romance that's going on 24/7 with-"

"Why ya' hate romance so much?"

"I dunno...it's all icky and sappy and...and I've never..."

"You've never...?"

"...I've never had a boyfriend."

She just stared for a minute, first at Rainbow, then down at her smoldering cigarette.

"Never ever?"

"Never ever ever."

"Never ever ever ever ever fer never ever?"

"Never ever never never ever ever never!"

"Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever?"

"Gah! Never ever never ever-"

They get caught in a battle of nevers and evers.

"Alright, Applejack, that's enough! I've never had a boyfriend, okay?!...how about you?"

"Ah'm in tha' same canoe. Ah've been so busy with farmwork, ah've never had time for romance."

"...Never ever ever-"

"Naw, we ain't doin' that again!" she laughed.

"Well...we'd best be clearing out. We don't want the bronies to think that we're shipping."

Applejack was suddenly fearful, and she ran back into the ballroom with her friend.

Back at the party, the dancing was suddenly interrupted when an unfamiliar face entered the room.

"Daddy!"

Sure enough, it was Screwball, and she ran over to hug Discord. He looked nervously over to Fluttershy, who was sort of half-glaring at him.

"'All made up', huh?"

"Fluttershy, it was 1,000 years ago. I-I'd never even heard of the word 'rubber'-"

"Aw, that's okay. I guess she can stay with us."

"Not really. I've had a lot of time to learn to take care of myself. I just came over to visit."

"Well, okay...I guess I'm your stepmom...Who's her mom?"

"No idea. I was drunk a lot 1,000 years ago," said Discord.

"Bye, everypony. Bye, Stepmom and Dad!"

Screwball sort of lifted into the air life a helicopter and crashed a few times before finally finding her way out.

This was about the time Rainbow Dash and Applejack came back.

"Uh...would somepony please explain who the hay that was?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"My stepdaughter, apparently."

"Oh, cool."


	9. Get a Job (Hippies)!

A few months later, the size of Fluttershy's stomach prevented her from flying altogether. Discord and her friends had been a big help, despite her claiming that they didn't have to and she could do some things herself.

Discord and Fluttershy were a good couple. A great couple, compared to some marriages. They rarely ever fought, and he even got her to watch an episode of Two and a Half Colts with him. It had a few dirty words, but she got to liking the show.

Fluttershy barely left her recliner these days. She could still get up to do little tasks, like cooking, but no more manual labor. She carressed her belly and thought of the baby inside.

Rainbow Dash slumped into the house, exhausted. Her friends had taken shifts taking care of the animals, and today was her shift.

"How did you do this every day?!" she asked.

"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I wish I could help, but...I'll make it up to you and everypony later on. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like heaven...I don't know what's up with those beavers, but they're holding a pretty tight grudge against me."

Fluttershy, holding her stomach, felt something from inside the womb.

"Ooh, the baby's kicking. Wanna feel?"

"Uh, sure. Maybe he'll come out to be the Karate Kid."

Fluttershy giggled, and Rainbow Dash leaned her head against her friend's belly, waiting for a feel. The baby's strong leg kicked Rainbow Dash in the head.

"OW! Oh, you're dead, kid!"

Fluttershy struggled with her friend, trying to fight her off until she calmed down.

"Sorry...I should be going. I got this class at the gym."

"I didn't know you went to the gym."

"Of course, I do. How else would I get these fine-toned legs?"

She stretched her muscular legs out and showed her.

'See ya'."

She glared at the baby before exiting.

Discord entered shortly after and sat down on the couch. He opened a can of soda and watched sports coverage.

"Um...Discord, can I talk to you about something?"

He burped loudly.

"Yeah, what?"

"Well...I'm not trying to offend you, but...I was doing the taxes recently, and...we're running really low on money."

"Oh, that's bad."

"Yes, and...since there's two people living here now...the expenses are up, and we need money to support that."

He turned off the TV and focused all his attention on her, since she was barely audible over the sound of the glowing box.

"Well, what I was trying to say was...Well, there's no easy way to say this, but, Discord...get a job," she said, sincerely as possible.

He sprung up off the couch and headed towards the door.

"You got it, babe!"

"Oh, really? Thank you so much."

When he got to the doorframe, he stopped.

"Just one question before I go."

"And what's that, my love?"

"What's a job?"

Fluttershy laid the paper before the oblivious Discord.

"Now, Discord, these are the classifieds. They list all the jobs that are available in this area. All you have to do is pick the one that you think best suits you."

She hands him a pen, and he marks the first job.

"I would suggest marking more than one."

He marks the second one.

"Here, let me help you."

She takes the pen in her mouth and looks over all the jobs.

"Well, you're very manipulative and convincing at times. Maybe you could be a used carriage dealer."

Discord, in a suit and tie, is presenting a carriage to a male BG Pony.

"How about this one? Got a strong frame, curtains..."

"I dunno. I was kinda looking for something smaller."

"You want smaller?! I'LL GIVE YOU SMALLER!"

He levitates the carriage and violently splits it in half.

"Help! HELP! This guy's crazy!"

The BG Pony flees, and the owner walks up to Discord, redder than a beet.

"I'm fired, right?"

He points toward the exit.

"Well, that didn't work out. But you're pretty tall. Maybe you could be a construction worker."

At a site outside of Ponyville, Discord was working with mostly Pegasus ponies to build a fancy estate. Even though they had just started, he was already tired.

"Hey, Dip-cord, pick up the pace!" yelled the foreman.

"Sorry, being sealed in stone for a thousand years really takes the fight out of you."

He tried to use magic, but the other stopped him.

"NO MAGIC! BY ORDER OF THE OWNER!"

"Okay, okay, yeesh...I could build this thing in a minute if I could."

He leaned against a support of the bridge, and the whole thing fell over and into the river, giving the beavers some materials to make a dam with.

The foreman was barely able to hold in his blind fury at the new worker.

"I'm fired, right?"

He kicked him all the way off the site and sent him crashing back to the cottage and through the roof. He landed right in front of Fluttershy.

"No luck?"

"Afraid not."

"Well, there's still one more job left. It's at least worth a shot."

"Welcome to McDaniel's. May I take your order?"

Discord was but a lowly cashier at this fast food restaurant.

"Yeah, I'll have a double hay sandwich with extra mustard."

"Coming right up."

He wrote his order down and handed it to the cook.

"Order up!"

"You got it!"

"Wait, Pinkie Pie?! You're a cook?!"

He looked through the tiny window and saw Pinkie manning the grill.

"Yeah, haven't ya' heard?! A close friend of the Cakes' owns this place! Their frycook called in sick, so I was asked to fill in!"

"Okay."

He started to take another pony's order.

"Isn't this fun?! We can just stand here all day and just talk and talk and talk!"

"Yeah, whatever. Don't you have a-"

"Already got it!"

She handed it to the customer, who thanked them with 5 bits.

He wrote down another customer's order, but Pinkie interrupted him again.

"Your wedding was really sweet. I didn't tell anypony this, but I cried a lot when I got home. But it was tears of joy."

"Uh, how long are you gonna be here, Pinkie?"

"I dunno. Could be a day, could be a few months, or could be...FOREEEEVER!"

"F-f-forever?"

"Naw, it won't be. I honestly don't know."

She handed him another sandwich that she apparently made while talking to him.

Meanwhile, at the cottage, Fluttershy was with Applejack and Rarity, going through her old stuff from her fillyhood.

"Maybe the baby could wear my old feetie pajamas. They're in pretty good shape."

In reality, it disintegrated right in her hooves.

"Fluttershy, your baby is not going to walk around in 20-year-old pajamas," assured Rarity.

"Yeah, we're gonna throw y'all a big ol' baby shower!"

"That won't be necessary, guys. We'll give the baby a bath after it's been born."

"Naw, like, a baby shower. Ya' know, where we bring you stuff fer the baby tah play with?"

"Guys...that's so sweet of you. All for my baby..."

"Well, we wouldn't let him or her go without the bare necessities. A crib, maybe a mobile, a few outfits at my expense...he or she will be all stocked up! And I'll be sure to make the outfits unisex so he or she can wear them without being embarrassed."

She sniffled and hugged both of them.

"Thank you guys so much."

"Ah know you'd do the same fer us if we was knocked up."

"Applejack, don't use such rude language. I prefer the term 'a bun in the oven'."

"Mmm, fresh cinammon buns."

"Oh, no. Is the baby burning to death?! I-I didn't know my tummy was an oven! Applejack can smell it, oh no!"

"Fluttershy, you know it's just a slang term for pregnancy."

"Oh...sorry, guys, I guess I should read up on this. I've delivered hundreds of baby bunnies, but never a pony."

"Maybe Twilight has somethin'."

That night, an exhausted Discord walked in on Fluttershy, nose buried in Twilight's pregnancy book. She put it down when he came home, ready to hear about his first day at work.

"How was your day, Mr. Working Man?"

"It was alright, I guess."

He returned to his usual place on the couch.

"That's it? You don't wanna give me any details?"

"Well, Pinkie's working there, for one."

"Really? That's odd. I thought she worked at Sugarcube Corner."

"Well, there was this whole...thing, it's not important. But the strange thing is, I didn't even get paid. I worked 8 hours."

"Discord, you get paid once every week."

"Every week?! Oh, that'll take forever!"

"8 bits an hour really adds up, Discord. And we've got to pay for that hole in the roof."

She pointed to a Discord-shaped hole in their roof where he fell.

"And, um...is it okay if I go to this...baby shower down at Sugarcube Corner?"

"Didn't you already go to a thing at Sugarcube Corner?"

"Sweetie, that was months ago. Besides, you can come too."

"I can?"

"Of course. This is your baby too, you know."

"Awesome! What should I wear? Should I go casual? Formal? Or just my usual no clothes at all?"

"I'm not sure...Maybe there's something about it in this book. Did you know that many women experience thicker and shinier manes during pregnancy due to hormonal changes and consumption of extra vitamins? And it's true."

She flipped her mane a little, showing off her volume and texture.

"Wow," said an aroused Discord.

"There's a bunch of interesting facts on pregnancy in this book. I think I'm gonna read some more before heading off to bed."

"Well, can you hurry up? My feet are killing me, and I really need somepony to rub them. You're the only one that likes to."

"Discord, I like your deer and lizard foot. They're so...unique and very you."

"Well...now's as good a time as ever."

He propped his feet up on the arm of her recliner, and she smiled while rubbing them.

"Um, Discord, I've also been reading: Did you know that there's a place on the foot between the jarstle bones that temporarily paralyzes the body?"

"Uh, what?"

A shockwave rolled through his body as she touched that very sensitive spot.

"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure it was real."

"I can't move."


	10. This Chapter is Just Buildup

**The next chapter will be really, really, REALLY long. Probably two parts, too. But...baby showers bore me.**

The day of the baby shower had arrived. Pinkie had done a good job, putting up decorations and putting up all sorts of games. But mostly, they just sat and talked.

Most of the ponies from the bachelorette party were there, and most of the ponies from the bachelor party.

"Fluttershy, I insist that you open mine first!" quipped Rarity.

"Well, okay."

"I think I know what it's going to be," whispered Discord as Fluttershy tore apart the wrapping paper.

Sure enough, she pulled out a bunch of feetie pajamas, and all the girls squealed.

"Most of these would suit both boys and girls, but I made a few pink and blue, just in case."

A short hug followed, accompanied by another present from Rainbow Dash.

"My present is gonna be the coolest one, by far."

"Ooh, I'm excited."

She opened the tiny giftbox and pulled out a tiny slip of paper.

"A coupon?"

"Not just a coupon. That is a coupon for one free flight lesson from your loyal friend, Rainbow Dash!"

"What...?! That's the cheapest excuse for a present ah've ever seen in mah life!" protested Applejack.

"You got something better, farm girl?"

"Yeah, somethin' the baby can actually use."

She opened Applejack's present and found numerous jars of a mushy substance.

"That there baby food is made up of 99.9% apples. Tha' rest is sugar and water."

Rainbow Dash laughed so hard, she fell down on the floor, rolling over and crying that she was guffawing so hard.

"You'd think...that the baby would get sick of apples! Hahahaha!"

"This was the stuff ah was raised on. Apples 're good for ya', Dash."

"Hahahahah! Wow, and you called my present lame!"

"Naw, ah called yer present cheap!"

"Your face is cheap!"

"Rainbow!" Fluttershy yelled.

"She started it!"

"Look, I love both of your presents. They'll both be beneficial to the baby's growth."

They gave her a brief hug and moved on. The rest of the baby shower went on exactly like this, and they got a few sweet things by the end.

Discord was mostly hanging out by the punch bowl with the guys that showed up for most of the party.

When they got home, Discord struggled through the door, carrying a lot of baby stuff.

"So much...heavy!"

"Come on, honey. Just a few more steps."

Fluttershy directed him over to the coffee table, where he set the presents down and returned to his couch.

"We have such good friends. Our baby's going to grow up just fine."

"Yeah, he's gonna be pimped, come his birth date. When is that, by the way?"

"I'm not due until next month. But, you know, most babies are either born before or after their due date."

"Huh. I did not know that."

He reached for the remote, but found Fluttershy holding it in her hooves.

"Hey!"

"Discord, can I please watch this documentary on birth? It would really help me to get prepared for the big day."

"Oh, alright. How long is it?"

"About...two hours?" she smiled meekly at him.

"Man, I'm going to miss the big game!"

She pressed a few buttons on the space-agey device, and it recorded Discord's program for him.

"Wow! The wonders of technology never cease to amaze me."

A few minutes into the documentary, he was already bored and confused.

"_Shortly before going into labor, most women experience an event called the bloody show._"

Due to the graphic nature of the content shown, Discord ran to the bathroom to throw up. Fluttershy just leaned in closer and gathered more information.


	11. Childbirth (Part 1)

Pinkie Pie switched the video camera on and panned around the room.

"Is this thing on? Okay. Hello, viewer! We are here at Fluttershy's house. We're, uh, painting the baby's room. In case you didn't know, Fluttershy's kind of expecting a baby any day now. Oh, there she is! Right over there! Say 'Hi' to the camera, mommy!"

She smiled and waved in her rocking chair.

"Hehe, okay! And here we have, uh, Dashie. What you doin', Dash?"

"Painting this room while you're just running around with a video camera."

"Memories are important, Rainbow Dash! Who knows? I might capture the Loch Ness Monster on this thing!"

"Whatever."

She rolled a coat of paint onto the wall. They were painting it a neutral color (white), due to not knowing the gender of the baby.

Twilight levitated a brush and used it to make precise strokes where the edge of the doorframe was.

"Wait a minute, you guys! The smell of paint can be harmful to the baby!"

Pinkie quickly pushed Fluttershy out of the door in her chair.

"Whew, that was close! But, uh, moving on. Daddy couldn't be in the picture today cause he's off at work to make some money. But somepony's here who's even more helpful. Applejack! Say 'Hey', Applejack!"

She muffled 'Howdy' through holding a brush in her mouth.

"So...we're painting, and it's not really that interesting. But I have to keep filming. For the sake of memories!"

"Um...guys?" Fluttershy whispered from the hallway.

"You know, I do love that Fluttershy's baby is all prepared to go into this world," said Rarity.

"Um...excuse me, guys?"

"More prepared than I was. Especially with my present. (S)he might get asked to join the Wonderbolts at-" Rainbow Dash boasted.

"GUYS!"

"Gross, Fluttershy! You could've asked one of us to walk you to the bathroom!" Rainbow Dash complained as wet stuff filled the floor.

"No, guys, I-I think my water just broke!"

They all gasped.

"Go, go, go, go, go!"

They all ran with Fluttershy out of the cottage. Rarity slipped in a puddle of it, but since it was an emergency, she wiped it off and kept running.

Pinkie was just standing there with the camera, confused.

"Water can't break. It's a liquid. Maybe if you turn it into ice first..."

"No, Pinkie, it means she's having the baby!" yelled Twilight after her.

"Oh! ALRIGHT! IT'S FINALLY HERE!"

She bounced out the door and with her friends.

"The hospital's got to be two miles away! Rainbow Dash, can you carry her?" asked Twilight.

"Can I carry her? I can lift up to two hundred-AGH!"

She tried lifting her, but nearly threw out her back while doing so.

"AAH! No offense, Fluttershy, but...you're really fat!"

She got up and recovered from her injury.

"Better go with that teleportation spell, Twilight."

"I can't, it's too risky. Somepony might lose a limb, or we might lose the baby.

"No, please don't risk that!" said Fluttershy in the break of a contraction.

"Ya' know, ah was born at home. Maybe we can-"

"No, Applejack! I don't think Fluttershy could stand that much pain."

"Well, we've got to find some way!" complained Rainbow Dash.

At that moment, Big Mac pulled up, hauling a carriage behind him.

"Huh? Who would've thought?" Rainbow Dash said.

"So, you girls need a lift?"

"Yes! Very much so!"

They all got in with her, and they sped down the road.

Big Mac was hauling as fast as the massive weight in the carriage allowed him to. Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof impatiently.

"Pick up the pace, farm boy!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

"Ya' ever tried carryin' five ponies and a pregnant one? It ain't easy!"

"That's it. Move over."

She put on a spare harness, then attached herself to the carriage.

"I'm no egghead, but I do know that more force and less weight equals a mean green bean machine! We'll be-"

"JUST GO!" they all yelled.

They started down the road, a little faster this time around. Meanwhile, the others were comforting Fluttershy as she tried to hold it in the best she could.

"It's gonna be okay, Fluttershy. We're gonna get you to the hospital, and you're gonna have your baby," assured Twilight.

"Ooh, I know! Maybe if you think abut something else, it'll take your mind off having the baby! It works for me whenever I have a tummyache."

"Pinkie, I really don't think that will-"

"Now hold on, Twilight. Ah thinks she's onto something."

She bent down next to her struggling friend.

"Okay, Fluttershy, imagine...the forest."

Her breathing slowed a little as she closed her eyes and thought about it.

"The squirrels scampering across the dirt path, and the canopies in the trees letting in little beams of light shining down on your mane, illuminating the delicate features of your face and this natural wonder around you."

"Mmm, that does happen often."

The others were quite impressed of Pinkie's sudden way with words.

"And those squirrels will have babies of their own, and then they'll make new squirrels, and they'll have babies too, and-"

"PINKIE, NO!" they all shouted.

The contractions started up again as Fluttershy's train of thought led her back to birth.

"Pinkie!" Twilight scolded.

"Sorry. Uh...let's see, I can fix this, I've just got to-WILL YOU HURRY UP?!"

She got to the front of the carriage and sat in the empty driver's seat. In a state of panic, she grabbed a riding whip and used it against Rainbow Dash.

"Hi-yah!"

"OW! What the hay, Pinkie?!"

"Sorry, we need to go faster!"

"How is whipping me gonna-OW!"

Pinkie's whip struck her face this time around.

"My eye! My good eye!"

"Oh, sorry, Rainbow Dash! I was aiming for your back!"

"WHAT THE HAY?!"

"I'm so sorry. I don't even know where this whip came from."

Tears and blood were leaking out of her black eye now.

"It's fine, Pinkie. Just...let me drive, okay?"

"Okay."

She went back to the others.

"Well?" asked Twilight.

"Yeah, we might have two ponies that have to go to the hospital now."

"AGH!" they all groaned.

Fluttershy continued to struggle to hold her baby in.

"Hey, Fluttershy, you know what I'd do whenever I was upset or in pain?" Twilight said.

"What?" replied Fluttershy.

"I'd just sing this little song. It's quite fun, actually. And I still remember all the lyrics."

She cleared her throat and began to sing.

_There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium_

_And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium_

_And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium_

_And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium_

Everypony stared at her with blank expressions on their faces.

_Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium_

_And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium_

_And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium_

_And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium-_

"STOP!" pleaded Rainbow Dash. "STOP!"

"We're here!" announced Big Mac.

Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack helped Fluttershy to get into the hospital.

"Wait," she halted.

They helped her over to Big Mac.

"Thank you so much."

She kissed him lightly on the cheek, and light blush marks appeared under his solid red coat.

They started toward the hospital door, but Pinkie stayed behind to help Rainbow Dash.

"Don't worry, Dashie. We'll have this fixed up in no time!"

"H-h-how does it look?"

"It doesn't look too ba-YEE!"

Her eye was so bad that I can't even describe it in one paragraph, so I'm just gonna use three words: black, blue, and red.

"Uh...don't worry, I can fix this. With my handy dandy...eyepatch collection!"

She pulled out a box filled with nothing but eyepatches.

"You collect eyepatches?"

"Yeah! I keep eyepatches hidden all over Equestria in case of an emergency!"

She took the eyepatch and snapped it onto Rainbow Dash's black eye.

"I-I would suggest going to a real doctor after this, just to be on the safe side-"

"Yeah, I got a check-up next week. Maybe I can squeeze that in."

They walked into the hospital together and found their friends arguing with the nurse at the counter.

"What do ya' mean she don't have insurance?!" Applejack yelled.

"I mean, she doesn't have insurance."

"That's crazy! Tell 'er, Fluttershy! You got insurance, right?!"

"Well, actually...I don't."

"WHAT?!" everypony yelled.

"I tried filling out a form one time, but it was so confusing."

"FOR CELESTIA'S SAKES, FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Well, if you don't have insurance, then you're going to have to wait in line for the free clinic."

The line to the free clinic stretched all the way out the back door of the hospital and into the alleyway.

"We ain't doin' that! We'll pay for it ourselves first! How much is it?"

"It's 43,000 bits."

She looked at the others, and they all shrugged.

"Well...okay. Let's go, y'all."

They impatiently waited in line for a few minutes, Fluttershy's contractions only getting worse. Eventually, Twilight decided to try some negotiation.

"Excuse me, ma'am, how long have you been in line?"

"Six, seven hour," said the woman in a black ghetto voice. "Mah elbow feel funny."

"Well, can we please cut in front of you? This woman is in labor."

"Naw, mah elbow feel funny!"

The others tried as best they could to console Fluttershy, but Rarity couldn't stand to see her friend suffer anymore.

"That's it!"

She stomped back over to the regular hospital.

"Wait, Rarity! We'll lose our place in line!"

They pursued after her, and she presented her proof of insurance before the nurse.

"She can have my insurance!"

"Wow. Rarity, can you even do that?" asked Twilight.

"As long as it gets paid for," said the nurse.

"Um...how much do you estimate the deductible to be?"

"Well, with my experience...about 1,500 bits."

"Oh, I can't afford that."

"Then she can have my insurance!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

"And mine," said Applejack, laying hers on the table.

"And mine," said Twilight.

"And mine!" said Pinkie.

"Pinkie, you have insurance?" Twilight inquired.

"Well, duh! With all the dangerous stuff I get into, it'd be crazy not to have insurance!"

They wheeled Fluttershy into the hallway and into the ER. She only had time to mouth a small 'thank you' before she disappeared down the hallway.

"Well...what now?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Now, we wait," Twilight answered.

They waited in the waiting room for what seemed like eternity, hoping and praying for their friend to get through this okay.

Pinkie, in her boredom, picked up a small plastic replica of an intestine and used it as a trumpet. A bellowing sound erupted through the hospital as she blew into it.

"Pinkie, no! You have no idea where that's been!" Twilight warned.

Rainbow Dash sighed and propped her legs up on an empty chair.

"I think I'm gonna call that rat Discord. He should be here."

She opened her phone and looked at the signal.

"Dang it! No bars!"

"I have one bar," said Twilight.

"Well, you can just do everything, can't you?"

She dialed Discord's number and waited for him to respond to her call.

"Thank you. Have a nice day."

The Funeral March song played as Twilight's ringtone, and Discord answered it.

"Make this quick, Twilight, I'm at work."

"Well, Discord. Um...you might have to leave."

"What? Why?"

"It's...kind of an emergency. You see, um...I don't know how to break this to you so suddenly, but-"

"YOUR WIFE'S HAVING YOUR BABY, YA' NUMBNUTS!"

"Rainbow!"

Discord, in a state of shock, stood still for a moment, wide-eyed at the news. He dropped his phone and ran for his bike outside.

"Hey, Discord! We've got customers waitin'!" his boss shouted.

"Sorry, boss! My wife's in labor!"

"Grr, YOU'RE FIRED!"

"Don't care!" he shouted as he pedaled away.

He maneuvered his way through the heavy rush hour traffic of Ponyville, zipping through carriages and fruit stands to get to his destination.

Before he could cross the train tracks, the infamous red and white bar stopped him, and he had to wait for the circus train to pass. One of the exhibits of that circus just happened to be the Equestria's Longest Train, measuring at 4.8 miles long.

Discord banged his head against the handlebars repeatedly and screamed in frustration.

Back at the hospital, Nurse Redheart stepped out and met with the ponies.

"Hey, girls. How was your morning?"

"Exhausting," they all responded.

"Okay, okay. Uhh, any one of you ladies wanna come in and coach Fluttershy through birth? Since daddy's not here and the baby's gonna be here any minute..."

"Not it!" Pinkie yelled.

"Naw," said Applejack.

"Not it!" Twilight shouted.

"I can't stand the sight of blood!" stated Rarity.

Rainbow looked around and saw that she was the only one who didn't say 'Not it'.

"Aw, you guys are a bunch of pansies. I can do this."

She stepped into the hallway with Nurse Redheart.

"Are you sure you can handle this, dear?"

"Oh, yeah. Fluttershy and I go way back. _Way _back. So I can coach her through childbirth."

"That's very sweet of you. Um, would you mind putting these on first?"

She put on some scrubs that the nurse handed her and headed into Fluttershy's room.

She was in her hospital bed, looking up at the TV on the far wall. A blur of multicolor distracted her view from the screen, and she smiled at her friend when she came and sat down beside her.

"Uh, hey," Rainbow Dash greeted.

"Hey."

They watched the screen for a little while, then Fluttershy looked over and spotted her injury.

"Oh, my, Rainbow Dash, what happened to your eye?"

"It was this whole...thing, it's not important. You think I look cool with the eyepatch?"

"Very."

"Thanks...so, your contractions are gone?"

"Yes, for now."

Nurse Redheart reentered the room with a large needle.

"Okay, Fluttershy, I'm going to give you a little shot. Just-"

"SHOT?!"

She tried to flee from her hospital bed, but her large belly prevented her from sitting up.

"Fluttershy, calm down. It's just a shot," Rainbow Dash reminded her.

"NO! NEEDLES! POKING! SCARY!"

She managed to sit up, but Rainbow Dash held her down.

"Fluttershy, you can either take this shot like a big girl, or I'm gonna have to hold you down like a little girl, and they're gonna inject it. Which one you want?"

"Um...the second one?"

She shrugged and proceeded to tie her hooves to the sides of the bed with some ponytail holders. She struggled quite a bit, but Rainbow was determined to get her the shot.

"NO! NO! NO SHOT! NO SHOT!" she cried.

"Fluttershy, I'm the one who got you to the hospital, so you're gonna do things my way. You are gonna let them give you any shots that they want you to because these egghead doctors know what they're doing! Is that clear?!"

Fluttershy managed to get one of her front hooves free and smacked Rainbow Dash in her other eye.

"AAAAAAH! DEAR CELESTIA, THAT HURT! OH, *****! ***** ******! ********!"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me! I-"

While she was distracted apologizing, Nurse Redheart injected the fluid into her spine. A sharp pain shot up her side, and she let out a high-pitched squeal that turned into a little whimper.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" comforted the caring nurse.

Fluttershy calmed down a bit and realized that it wasn't so bad after all. Even though she didn't know the intended effect of the injection.

"Now, just one more shot, dearie. Just get it out of the way."

She held up an even larger needle that looked like it would hurt a lot more than the first one.

"NO! NO SHOT! NO SHOT!"

Rainbow Dash restrained her free hoof and held her down the best she possibly could.

"Next time, don't tell her you're gonna give her a shot," suggested Rainbow Dash.

"Relax, dear, this is the last shot. No more after this one."

Tears welled up in her eyes as the overhwhelming pain of the needle coursed through her, hitting her in her lower spine this time. Fortunately, that pain only lasted for a second, and Nurse Redheart even added a fun little animal bandage where she jabbed her with the needle.

Silent tears ran down her eyes as she recovered from the pain.

"It's okay, it's okay," she comforted. "Want a lolly?"

Rainbow Dash untied her so she could enjoy her lollipop. The sweet taste of the candy on her tongue made her feel a tiny bit better, but not that much.

"The doctor will be with you in just a minute, honey. You just try to calm down."

"Um, nurse, what did those shots do?"

"Well, the first one is a paralyzer. You won't be able to feel anything from the waist down. Makes childbirth easier."

The numbing started in her pelvis, then moved down to her hooves until she couldn't feel them at all.

"And the second one was just for pain. We want to make it as least difficult as possible for you to bring your little bundle of joy into the world."

She smiled as she licked her lollipop some more.

**Bill Cosby: Looks like the girls learned something about childbirth. Stick around, and maybe you'll learn somethin' too. Hey-hey-hey! *throws a basketball offscreen***


	12. Childbirth (Part 2)

Fluttershy finished the last of her sugary treat as Rainbow healed her visible eye with an ice pack, hoping to regain some vision.

"I'm sorry for hitting you, Rainbow Dash."

"Don't be sorry."

"No, but I am. I was out of control, and for that, I apologize."

"Yeah...I'm sorry for tying you up."

"Oh, it was the only way I could get that shot. Besides, they didn't hurt that bad."

"Yeah, what'd I tell you?"

"That they were no big deal."

"Exactly."

She put her hoof on her friend's shoulder encouragingly.

"Look, Fluttershy, all I expect out of you is to deliver this baby safely and tough it out so he/she can have life. That's all anypony needs, right?"

"Yes."

"Good, cause life's a precious thing, and...all that sappy poem stuff."

The doctor entered the room, and they both perked up, waiting to hear the news.

"Hey, Fluttershy. How ya' feelin'?"

"Numb. Thanks for asking."

"Don't mention it...You recognize me?"

"No."

"Not even a little?"

"Not really."

"Oh, well then, allow me to introduce myself. I'm the doctor that told you you were pregnant."

"Oh, are you?"

"Yep. I recently graduated med school."

"Really? Congratulations."

"Yeah, and trust me, I am a much more competent doctor than when you last saw me. I know a lot more about...organs and...tissue, and...stuff like that."

She laughed, but you could sense a bit of nervousness in it.

"So, I am gonna be delivering your baby today. Uh, when the contractions start up again, just push that blue button on the wall."

"Okay."

"Now, something about the blue button; Do not accidentally push the red button right next to it because that signals that a patient's heart has stopped, and we'll come in here with electric shock paddles instead of the necessary instruments for delivering a baby."

"Okay, we'll press the blue button."

"There ya' go!"

He turned and noticed Rainbow Dash, partially recovering vision in her good eye.

"Cool eyepatch."

"Uh, thanks."

"Just so you know, you can leave whenever you want. I tell ya', it gets crazy nasty in here sometimes. It's too much for some ponies, and..."

"Well, I'm tougher than most ponies. And Fluttershy's my friend. I'll stay by her side the whole time."

"Uh, okay. I gave you fair warning."

He left, leaving the two to watch some TV before the contractions started again.

"You scared?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Not really. I just want to get this over with. I'm pretty sure my baby really wants to hightail it out of there."

"I wouldn't. I'd like hanging out in a warm place all day, free food, protection from the elements...Of course, there would be boredom...a lot of it."

Halfway into _Mare's Anatomy_, when a patient was having a seizure, Fluttershy exhibited some of the same behaviors, except she was groaning in pain.

"Good impression," hailed Rainbow Dash.

"No, Rainbow Dash! I-I think the contractions have started again!"

"Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!"

They raced for the button at the same time, Fluttershy pressing the blue one and Rainbow Dash pressing the red one.

"Uh-oh," they both said.

"Childbirth Team! We're here to-"

The emergency life team crashed into them in the hallway, slipping on the wet floor.

They all gathered their things, then rushed for the door at the same time, bumping past each other.

"Nopony's pulse has stopped," one of the doctor's on the emergency life team shouted. "Her heart monitor's fine!"

"No, she's going into labor. Accidentally pressed the red button. Sorry."

The doctors on the emergency team grumbled and headed back to their stations, but the childbirth team placed her hind legs in stirrups and began to deliver the child.

"Okay, Fluttershy, this is where it all boils down to! On my signal, I want you to push as hard as you can!"

"Oh, then we'll have this baby out in no time!" Rainbow Dash cheered.

She got up and pushed down on Fluttershy's stomach.

"No, no, please don't do that! Fluttershy needs to push!"

"Rainbow Dash, I-I don't want this next part to gross you out. It gets kind of..."

"What? Where do babies come out, anyway?"

Fluttershy whispered the answer to her before another painful wave of contractions came on.

"What?! Aw, gross!"

"You ready, Fluttershy?"

She nodded in response.

"Alright, then. One, two, three, PUSH!"

She pushed as hard as she possibly could, straining herself to the extreme, until she finally tuckered out and took a few raspy breaths.

"Okay, Fluttershy, we're gonna do another one! You ready for this?!"

Rainbow Dash held her hoof for some reassurance. She weakly nodded as she readied herself for another tiring round.

"One, two, three, PUSH! Hard as you can!"

She pushed even harder this time and found herself tiring out even quicker.

"You can do better than that, Fluttershy! Now, uno, dos, tres, go!"

Another painful wave came over her as she pushed past her body's limit, collapsing in exhaustion on the bed.

"I'd say he's just about halfway there! Just a few more pushes!"

The next one was barely a push, but a feeble effort from her.

"He's in the birth canal, Fluttershy! We've gotta get him out! Just keep pushing!"

"Oh, I can't!" she cried.

"Fluttershy, listen to me!" said Rainbow Dash. "If trillions of ponies before you could do this, I know you can, too! Okay, I'll admit it, next to me, you're the toughest and most reliable pony I've ever known. You're always there for your friends and your animals, you do a million chores every day, and you're still the kind and gentle soul that you are. I know it's hard right now, but you have to deliver this baby! You can't just quit midway through! This is another life at stake! So, this is for you and your baby!...I believe in you! Please, Fluttershy! Don't quit on me now!"

Because of Rainbow's speech, Fluttershy looked deep inside herself and found her inner confidence; the confidence that had been hiding inside her her entire life and only occasionally poked itself out of the darkness of her delicate soul. Fluttershy having a child was one of those times that it decided to present itself to the world and show it what Fluttershy was really made of.

"Let's do this," she said, weak but determined.

"Okay, Fluttershy! You ready for another push?"

"Yes."

"Alright, one, two, three, go!"

She pushed harder this time. To put it in retrospect, it felt like the hardest poop she had ever had to take, multiplied times 100. It felt like stretching your bottom lip all the way over her head to the back of her neck. But she didn't care. She had to get this baby out. She was willing to sacrifice life and limb for this 9-month-old fetus that she didn't hardly know anything about because it was hers. And hers alone.

"Here we go again! Red light...green light!"

She pushed even harder, and the nurse proclaimed something good.

"Ohh, the head is crowning!"

Rainbow Dash, out of curiosity, went over and peeked. She would soon regret that decision. Even though she could only see partially and out of one eye, she could still see everything in graphic detail.

"Ugh...IT'S GOT HAIR!"

She ran down the hallway, coughing and doing her best to hold in vomit.

"Where you goin', Daddy? Don't you wanna cut the cord?" a nurse called after her.

"So much for staying by her side the entire time."

By now, Fluttershy didn't even need her. She had this situation in control, and better yet, it was almost over.

"Fluttershy, I'd say one more push would do it! You ready?"

She nodded and prepared herself for the moment of truth.

"One...two...three...PUSH!"

Here it was; The final push. She knew this was all it took to get her baby out of that narrow birth canal and into the joy of the real world. She pushed, hard as ever. The pain grew with each second, but she prevailed. She prevailed, she prevailed.

The last scream she emitted was so loud, it could be heard from outside the hospital and all the way to the train tracks, where Discord was waiting impatiently for the 4.8 mile long monster of a train that had no business being there in the first place.

"Fluttershy!"

He desperately searched for a way to pass the train, when he saw Scootaloo jumping ramps on her scooter.

"I'll be needing this," he said as he swiped one of the cardboard ramps.

"Hey!" she shouted after him.

He made sure the ramp was of adequate size and he was at the length required to jump. He waited for the absolute shortest car to come, then pedaled the fastest he knew how to jump over it.

The car only caught the bike's front tire, but only by a little bit. He struggled to balance the weight so that he could get on top, and to make it worse, he saw an upcoming tree about to cut off his long neck.

He quickly jumped off the BMX and rolled onto the top of the train car. What he last saw of his precious bike was a mangled pile of scrap metal on the nearby sidewalk.

"Aw, man. That cost 200 bits."

The obstacles were not over, though, as he had to duck and jump past railroad signs and do complicated dance moves to avoid tree limbs, Pegasus ponies, and the like.

When he found a break in the obstacles, he saw the hospital from afar off. He looked at that, then the rolling ground beneath him, and decided the only logical thing to do was to jump off. He breathed deeply, then took the leap of faith, jumping from the high train car and rolling in the gras below.

There was a sharp pain in his shoulder, but he simply dusted himself off and ran to the hospital, hoping to meet up with his marefriend.

He finally burst through the doors of the hospital to be greeted angrily by four of her friends.

"There you are!" yelled Twilight.

"We've been waitin' fer hours fer yer lazy behind to teleport in here!"

Discord had completely forgotten that he could've just teleported there.

"Oh, yeah..."

Meanwhile, in her hospital bed, Fluttershy was panting and doing her best to stabilize her breathing after her tiring ordeal.

"Congratulations, Ms. Fluttershy, it's a girl!" declared one of the nurses.

The sound of her child crying filled the room, and Fluttershy couldn't help but smile before she passed out from exhaustion.

She awoke a few hours later to find her friends and her husband surrounding her, grinning.

"...Santa?" she mumbled weakly.

"What? No, Fluttershy, it's us," said Twilight.

"Oh, Twilight...I had the strangest dream. It felt like was giving birth to-"

"Your new baby girl!"

A nurse came in and brought the sleeping foal in a blanket and a cute little hat.

Everypony in the room's heart must have exploded at least five times after seeing her.

"Would you like to hold her, Miss Fluttershy?"

"Um...yes, thank you."

She gently placed the sleeping foal in Fluttershy's arms and curtsied out the door.

Adorable was an understatement. Through the mixed and matched parts of her body, she had the same torso and facial features as her mother. From her father, she exhibited the same tail, four different legs from a komodo dragon, a hyena, an eagle, and a goat. The symmetrical parts of her body included two bat wings and deer antlers.

"She's beautiful...isn't she, honey?" remarked Fluttershy, teary-eyed.

"Yeah," agreed Discord, also on the verge of tears. "Look at her shins...they're perfect. And look at her little head, and...her little, oh everything's so tiny!"

"We made her, you know."

"Yeah, we did. You did most of the work, but...we both made her."

"...What do you think we should name her?"

They both thought for a moment on a name for their daughter.

"How about Lightning...Thunderbolt...Lightning Thunderbolt...something," said Rainbow Dash, still piecing together the order of the words.

"How 'bout Apple Dumplin'?"

"Monopoly?" suggested Rarity.

"Libraria?" hinted Twilight.

"Strawberry Surprise?" said Pinkie.

"Wow, those names are just awful," Discord jeered. "But I can't think of anything better. What do you say, Fluttershy?"

"Um...how about...Hestia? After the Greek goddess?"

"I dunno. Some ponies might confuse it with 'Celestia'."

"No, Hestia is much different. She was the Greek goddess of the hearth, architecture, and family."

"Uh...okay, sure. Screw it."

"Well, if we're going Greek, I would've suggested Aphrodite," said Rarity.

The rest of the visit was just marveling at their new child they had just birthed. She even opened her little eyes once, and they were absolutely amazing. The outside of the pupil sported a teal green, like Fluttershy's, while the inside was a fiery red-orange, like her father's. Adorable, nonetheless, and the lucky parents just couldn't stop looking into them.

"Okay, Miss Fluttershy, we've got to take this baby to the nursery."

"Just five more minutes. Please?"

"Uh...okay, five more minutes. But we've got to do all this paperwork and all this...it's gonna take a while. What's her name again?"

"Hestia."

"Ooh, that's a good one. I named my son Joe."

She patiently waited outside the door for them to finish, then scooped her out of her mother's arms when the short amount of five minutes was up.

"Will she be okay in there?"

"Yeah, she'll be surrounded by other babies. We'll put nametags on, and you can come get her after you're out of the hospital in three days."

"Three days?"

"Well, yes, birth is a very tiring thing. You need at least that much time to recover. So just stay in bed and don't lift a hoof. We'll do all that for ya', okay?"

"Okay. Thank you so much."

As soon as she was scooped up away from her mother, she started to cry uncontrollably.

"Oh, I know what she wants," said the nurse.

"You do?" they all asked.

"Yeah, I think she's hungry. She needs some milk."

"Oh, no, Discord, we forgot to buy formula!" worried Fluttershy.

"It's okay, there's a perfectly good substitute for formula."

"Oh...you mean..."

"Milkshake?" suggested Pinkie Pie.

"No, Pinkie..." started Fluttershy, but she was too tired to finish the sentence.

As she rested on her side, the nurse put the baby down beside her. She stopped her crying immediately when she got the sense of her mother's milk and started to suckle off of her.

"Wait...what's she doing? Is she sucking Fluttershy's blood?!" yelled Pinkie.

"Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy is feeding her baby. I think it's quite beautiful, actually, even though I despise most things in nature," said Rarity.

Once she had finished suckling, the nurse carried a satisfied baby off to the nursery. Meanwhile, Fluttershy's friends looked at each other nervously.

'Can we all afford to put Fluttershy in the hospital three days?" Twilight asked.

"Well, we're splittin' it, so probably."

"Um...Discord?" Fluttershy timidly asked.

"Yes, dear?"

"Well...giving birth, then feeding the baby sure makes you hungry, so...if it's not too much trouble, could you please get me a sandwich, or something?"

"Sure thing! They've got some in the cafeteria! Uh, what kind of sandwich?"

"Doesn't matter."

On his way to the cafeteria, Discord spotted two men crying over each other and looking through a window into the nursery.

He decided to join them and peer over to where a nurse was writing the name 'Hestia' onto a nametag and putting it on his baby. Of course, she looked different from all the others, so she really didn't need it.

"Uh...which one's yours?" he asked when they calmed down.

"That's ours," he pointed to a sleeping little colt on the left side of the room.

"Wait, both of yours?"

"Yes, we're in a domestic relationship."

"Well, I certainly didn't bring about chaos again because boys can't give birth."

"No no no, we used a surrogate."

"A sir-you-what?"

"A surrogate. A woman that carries your baby?"

"Oh, yeah. I-I heard about those on the news."

They just stood, looking at their respective babies.

"So...how does it work for you gents...in the bed chamber?"

"Ugh, what a weirdo."

They walked, holding each others' hooves.

"It's a legitimate question!"

**The End...for now. I dunno, I might write some more. Depends how inspired I am.**


	13. You People Begged

Fluttershy carressed her newborn child in her forelegs and cradled her with all the love she could possibly give him. It had been three days since she was brought home from the place of her birth, and the momma couldn't be any happier with her little bundle of joy. Unlike most mares, she didn't go into a postpartum depression because she was just too danged happy to have her baby in this world, snuggling up to her.

She was just about to fall asleep right there with her, when a knock on the door jostled her and frightened the still timid Pegasus. She gently set her down on the chair, then went to answer the door. Whoever was at it was getting impatient, as they were knocking more rapidly.

"Oh, hey, Rainbow Dash."

"Hey, Fluttershy. Just wanted to see how little Medusa is doing."

"Um...it's Hestia."

"Oh, right, right."

The baby slowly opened her eyes to see Rainbow Dash's grinning face.

"Hey, there. I'm your aunt Rainbow Dash. I just wanna say, uh, no hard feelings about when you kicked me in the face while you were in your mama's belly. So...truce?"

The baby stifled a bit, then cried her eyes out.

"Sheesh, talk about sensitive."

Fluttershy the protective mother came over and embraced her child.

"Um, I should have warned you, she doesn't like being woken up from her nap."

"Hmm...neither do I..."

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay. Momma's right here."

As soon as she heard her mother's soothing voice, she calmed down and looked up at her. She gently rocked her back and forth while humming 'Hush Now, Quiet Now' before she fell asleep within the span of a few minutes.

She looked back over at her friend, who was twitching on the ground and had foam coming out of her mouth.

"Rainbow? Are you alright?"

"Yeah...just a bit of...cuteness diabetes."

She took out an insulin shot and injected it into her pancreas. She gasped for breath a little before coming to and standing beside her friend.

"Seriously, that baby you had is adorable. Even though I can only see her with one eye."

"Your eye looks much better to me."

"No, this is a glass eye. They had to remove the one that Pinkie whipped."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Tell that to Pinkie. I have gotten not just a hundred apology letters, but an Apology Telegram."

Flashback to Rainbow Dash opened the door of her cloud house when a stream of confetti hit her face. In its place stood Pinkie, looking not as bubbly as usual, but her mane going a little flat while singing her a telegram.

_This is your apology telegram_

_I hope that you get well_

_I'm sorry that I whipped you_

_And then made your eye swell_

_Your injury's because of me_

_And that's not really great_

_I've made you this so you will not_

_Get me back because I -_

"Pinkie! I already said I forgive you!"

"But Rainbow Dash, you only have partial vison because of me! I'm so, so sorry!"

"Yeah, you're sorry. I get it. And I forgive you, okay?! Now, leave me alone!"

"Well...okay..."

Rainbow looked at the sad pink Earth pony curiously for a moment.

"Pinkie, how are you standing on clouds?"

"I am?"

She began to fall through the cloud bank, but Rainbow Dash caught her by her forelegs.

"Oh, just let me drop to the ground. Then, at least we'll be even."

"Pinkie! Don't talk like that! You're seriously bumming me out! Look, let's just say that we're even and that we're cool alright?"

"But we're not cool, Dashie! I have to get hurt in order for us to be even!"

"Well, in that case..."

She lifts one of her forelegs from supporting Pinkie.

"NO NO NO DON'T DON'T STOP STOP!...Why did you stop? I said drop me."

"You said stop."

"Of course I said stop. You were gonna drop me."

"Well, make up your mind. What do you want me to do?"

"Drop me."

She prepares to drop her to the ground below.

"NO NO NO NO DON'T DON'T!"

Rainbow Dash lets out a groan of impatience.

"Sorry. Look, I know I'm being a little hard to read-""

Both forelegs slip from under the pink pony, and she screams as gravity does its job of pulling her down to the Earth. Rainbow Dash wants desperately to save her, but she know that Pinkie won't leave her alone if she does, so she lets her fall to the ground with an audible thud. Rainbow cringes at the sound, then goes to check out the scene.

Pinkie has thankfully landed in a pile of manure, but she is still out cold from the impact. Not wanting to get caught for this act, Rainbow looks both ways while backing up slowly, then floors it back to her house.

"I hope she's alright," Fluttershy said, concerned.

"She's fine. But that's not really the reason I came over."

"Yes, you said it was to see how Hestia was doing."

"Well, I changed my mind. I'm actually here because we need to work off that baby fat of yours."

She pointed to her friend's swollen stomach.

"Rainbow Dash, that won't really be necessary-"

"Yes, it will. Swimsuit season's coming up, Fluttershy! You've gotta stay in shape!"

She grabbed Fluttershy's hoof and started to lead her out the door.

"WAIT! Who will look after..."

"I've got you covered."

Fluttershy looked on in terror as a pink Earth pony took her baby and held her close. She still smelled of the foul manure of the fields, and it soon filled her house.

"I'll take good care of her, Fluttershy. If she starts to cry, I'll just give her some sugar. Sugar helps everything!"

"Pinkie, that's not-"

"Let's go, I haven't got all day!" yelled Rainbow as she dragged her friend along.

"But...but..."

A very high-pitched squeak was the last thing that escaped her lips before Rainbow Dash closed the door.

Outside, she forces Fluttershy to do push-ups in the blistering heat. Helping the situation somewhat, she sprays cold water on the grass, but that only makes it a dirty mix of dirt and water.

"Eat mud! I said, eat it!"

"Rainbow Dash...I think I swallowed too much mud."

"Take a salt tablet."

Next, she tries to lift up a barbell, but can't even nudge it a centimeter off the ground.

"Come on, Fluttershy! You've gotta do this! Come on! Up, up, up, up!"

The frail Pegasus collapses to the ground, not even being able to lift a barbell with stuffed animals on either side.

A while later, Fluttershy is continuing her muddy push-ups, but with Rainbow Dash lying on her back and reading the newspaper. Of course, being the athlete that she is, she chooses the sports section.

"Yankees are looking good."

The Sun is setting by now, and Rainbow Dash is on her friend's back as she runs through the forest.

"Strong with The Force, young Fluttershy is."

Soon after her Star Wars reference, her hoof trips a root, and she goes crashing to the ground, slipping in the dirt and crashing into a nearby tree.

"So...tired..."

"That is why you fail."

"Rainbow Dash...please...can we take a five minute..."

"You don't deserve a five minute nothing, Fatty! That's right, pig! Get up and swallow some more mud! That's your slop, you big, fat..."

Tears stream from her eyes because of Rainbow Dash's violent barrage of insults.

"Oh...I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I just thought that humiliating you would make you more determined to get this baby fat off. But hey, that's just my logic."

Rainbow's ears drooped at the sight of her friend crying like this because of her.

"Uh, let's call it a day. Uh...good job."

She dusted herself off, then half-limped back to the comfort of her cottage. Her legs felt as if they were about to fall off, but she trudged on, hoping to get back to Hestia in one piece.

"So, Fluttershy," said Rainbow Dash, following her. "What do you say, for tomorrow's workout, we just do some nice, relaxing sky clearing? That always calms my nerves."

Fluttershy got back to the doorstep and shot Rainbow an angry look.

"You're not gonna show up, are you?"

She slowly shook her head no.

"Well, uh...Friends?"

Still wearing the half-furious expression, she shook Rainbow's hoof in an act of friendship, then slammed the door on her.

"I'm just gonna slip this workout regimen under your door."

She quickly scribbled a schedule, then carefully slipped it under her door.

"And, uh, here's a salt tablet."

A tiny pill rolled under the door and settled next to the slip of paper.

"These things help anything...Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy, with her mane still disheveled and dirty from Rainbow's workout, followed the sounds of Hestia wailing to the kitchen.

Inside was pure and utter chaos, things were levitating and spinning around in the air, the curtains were on fire with some kind of green flame, and Hestia was in the middle, crying through it all.

"Now, where have I seen this before?"

"FLUTTERSHY!"

Her direction was focused on Pinkie, who was being cornered by a gang of evil gingerbread man-shaped cookie cutters.

"Pinkie?! What's going on?!"

"I don't know! She's been crying for hours! I tried the flour trick; Nothing! Then, I tried making silly faces; Still nothing! Either your baby needs to get a sense of humor, or she's CRAZY!"

The cookie cutters, holding butcher knives, slowly inched closer to the pink pony.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Don't worry, Pinkie!"

She avoided a flying toaster, then sweeped all the gingerbread men into her saddlebag. She put the bag into a cabinet and ducked for cover when a sonic wail from Hestia imploded the entire cabinet with a loud boom. The two ponies were forced to hide under a table as shards of metal from the cookie cutters rained down on them.

"Wasn't your wallet in your saddlebag?"

Her eyes widened, and Fluttershy realized her mistake as broken coins mixed in with the metal pieces.

"Fluttershy, I'm home. I hope you made dinner, because I am-WHOA!"

A burst of yellow-green flame erupted from the foal's mouth and right towards her father in the doorway.

"Since when could she do that?!" he asked, shocked.

"Yeah, you might wanna check your bedroom."

The married couple Pinkie's advice and ran down the hall. Heat from the flames radiated over them, and they saw the full capacity of the situation: The whole room burned with a yellow-green fire inseveral places along the walls and on the bed.

"Oh, my goodness. I'll get the fire in the kitchen! You get up here!"

Fluttershy quickly went outside and gathered the watering hose that Rainbow Dash used to turn the lawn into mud. Then, she flew inside as fast as her wings could carry her aloft and doused the flames in the house. Spraying water at the base of the flames, she was able to ruin the curtains, but put the fire out.

Discord, meanwhile, filled a large bucket with water and carried it to the bedroom. Unfortunately, on the way there, he spilled the heavy load and slipped in the water until he came to the bedroom and was set alight by the flames.

"AAAAAAAH! I'M ON FIRE!"

Hestia wailed louder than before as the house burned around her.

"What are we gonna do, Fluttershy?!"

With her motherly instinct, Fluttershy moved closer to her baby and sniffed the air suspiciously. Her nose wrinkled at the smell, and she turned her gaze over to Hestia, still crying on the ground.

"Uh-oh," she said in a calm tone. "Somepony's got a stinky."

She toned down somewhat and looked over to her mother, who picked her up off the ground and smiled up at her.

"Well, we'd better do something about that."

She nuzzled the pony-draconequs mix affectionately, and a tiny giggle was heard round about the cottage, causing the kitchen appliances to be set down gently and all chaos to stop.

"Um...Pinkie, you wouldn't happen to have any-"

"Right here!"

She tossed a diaper over to Fluttershy, who took advantage of the calm atmosphere. From a mix of natural instinct and parenting classes, she methodically removed Hestia's dirty diaper, sprinkled what she hoped was talcum powder on her cute little baby bottom, then put a fresh diaper on.

Hestia's dirty diaper landed right next to Pinkie, who gagged at the smell.

"Oh, dear Luna and Celestia! It's like a mix of old cheese and garbage!"

"No, Pinkie, it's just poop. Now, could you please throw that away for me?"

"Uh, sure, Fluttershy."

She found a bag of partially-burned chips on the counter and used the clamp that held the bag shut to pinch her nose and carry the radioactive material to the trash. Unfortunately for her, due to her hooves, she had to pick it up with her mouth.

Hestia, currently in a good mood, laughed as Fluttershy played a game of peek-a-boo with her, using her wings to cover her eyes.

"AAAAAAH! HELP! I NEED MEDICAL HELP!"

Discord and his daughter's screams filled the air, one of them being in physical pain until Fluttershy filled a small bowl with water and dumped it on his head, dousing the flames, but also making him all wet.

The laughing began with Hestia, then spread to Fluttershy, and finally to Pinkie, as they gathered around the wet and grumpy Discord.

"You know, there's still a fire upstairs."

The realization hit them like a bullet, and they all rushed upstairs to deprive the flames of oxygen.


End file.
